Thank you lovely ones!
@ladee,
@AngelkeeperJ/AKJ and everyone for checking in and adding support.
I felt lost and lonely last night. Just about all the people who were here and certainly the ones that I got a little close to, left over the weekend and new people came and it felt like so much to adjust to, all over again.
As a child, I was constantly being taken out of school and moved across the country as my mum behaved like a woman on the run. A traumatised disordered single mum with a young daughter and various men coming and going. I was abused and neglected at home and dumped with other people for months sometimes and had to change schools constantly.
I became more and more withdrawn as time went on so it was impossible to make friends. Plus I knew I would just be taken away from them anyway, so I stopped trying.
Being here, the new kid again, is reminding me of all those sad, frightened, lonely years.
Last week I rose to the challenge. I extended the friendship branch to someone in real need of a friend and it was incredibly rewarding.
I ache for her though, she wasn't allowed to stay even the three week program because her cover wouldn't cover it. So she left, still beside herself, as she suffered more major blows re friends on the outside (the worst possible news about friends and more than one) so she had to leave to help organize funerals for friends who passed while she was in here.
So I'm very sad for her and losing her so quickly.
I cried myself to sleep last night but had a good solid sleep (sleeping meds halved from the previous night too). I had my green furry froggy to hug though and of course I rang my guy. He is coming up to visit me while I'm here! We live over 2 hours from here, so I didn't expect him to visit, but I'm over the moon that he is! :)
I'm looking forward to group therapy this morning, even though I broke down just about every time last week and even left the room once, but only for a literal couple of seconds.
