Court On Tuesday Against One Of My Rapists

[Abeille]

I just found out today that I have court this Tuesday. I am so scared... He took video of him violating me and I am going to need to watch them in the same room as one of the males who gave me PTSD... I am so afraid and I am just an emotional wreck! Any advice for keeping calm or strong? I need all the help I can get...

 

[Nicolette]

There is nothing I can say to make you feel better and we all know this will be daunting & difficult for you.

What I can say, after a similar experience, is to focus on the desired outcome & the fact that you may do a lot of good protecting women in the future.

The legal system is not always fair & knowing someone who gave you PTSD may just get punishment minor compared to your suffering is sad too.

I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

 

[Deleted member 541]

This has to be extremely hard for you to think about, never mind actually doing. I'm sorry that this is causing you so much pain. It would for me too. The only thing I can offer, is this... Just keep in mind, that going to court is to stand up for yourself, to show the world and yourself that what happened to you was wrong, and that you are not going to take it. You want justice, you want the men that did this to you punished.

I hope that this turns out in your favor, and that justice is served......

 

[cherryblossom]

I just wanted to wish you well on Tuesday. I wish you every strength you need. I don't have any words of advice, because I can only begin to imagine how frightening this must be for you. However, I commend your courage and bravery for doing this. You are a strong voice for so many women (myself included), who are not able report such crimes or press charges for so many reasons. Maybe that thought will help to keep you strong.
My thoughts will be with you on Tuesday. Stay brave and strong. And if you are up to it, please let us know how you get on.

regards,
CB

 

[intothelight]

Because feeling of "powerlessness" contribute to the PTSD, justice can restore a little bit of "something". I don't have the words to express it, but I've been to court several times against my abuser and it did help.

You are very brave and know there are people supporting you.

Intothelight

 

[Abeille]

I am sorry I have not been online, I was away and then away some more and now the plumbing in the house is going crazy and I wont be able to go see my fianee and... Anyway, court was moved to October... I am frustrated and upset that it is being drawn out even longer, but... in a strange way happy that I dont need to face it yet and dissapointed in myself for feeling that way. Thank you all for your support... It is very much appreciated.

 

[anni]

Whenever it does happen, you have a lot of people thinking of you. I guess anyone would be relieved it was postponed. I know nothing much helps with the fear. I got through mine holding a Rosary, staring at the floor and mentally registering the position of the security guards, whose feet I could sometimes see. What I wish I'd been able to do was work up some anger through the fear. He can't hurt you anymore, he's the powerless one now,and they do not much like for those types of 'offenders' where he's going. I have zero faith in the justice system but an awful lot of faith in something as irrefutable as a tape. Even they can't mess that up.

They have to come up with a better system for us. 'Right to face their accuser' .Be that as it may you should not have to do this. I know you do, however. and no matter what thug bravado he might display in that room( they generally do, like idiots) he's the one who genuinely does have zero power there. These, big, bad thugs are an awful lot less impressive to the guards and officers who have seen hundreds of their rotten little backsides, and who probably enjoy packing their big, bad backsides out that side door onto the prison van. Sometimes it's helpful to think about 'after', so PLEASE forgive a quick story. Mine had been 'out', and showed up for court wearing fulllll Green Beret gear (he'd been one long ago)-combat boots, fatique, etc.After sliding through the system for a very long time ( he was a Very Important Person-and would tell you)finally went too far. Well- long story involving much bluster, expensive lawyer, and annoyed judge later some actually SMILING guards man-handled the thug out that side door.

Please forgive long post. Your situation is no doubt different. Fear in that situation is the same, probably.Maybe being able to dismiss this awful person in your head a little as not so big and bad, and headed for somewhere which will further convince him of that fact might help. If not do please excuse. The thread of course struck a nerve, can you tell? :)

I hope you're feeling some peace for today, and take care,

Anni