Greetings all. I am new to this site and I am also new to CPTSD. I have been coming to terms with the diagnosis for the last 9 months. The formal diagnosis of PTSD came from the work that I do professionally (I will not type it as it may trigger others and possibly cause trauma). After my first few months of EMDR therapy with an amazing health care team of a psychiatrist and clinical PHD psychologist, I was than able to safely release my past childhood trauma in a caring / trusting environment. That day was the most difficult day of my life. I guarded my past, kept it close, no one goes in, but the pain did come out. If it was not for the trauma I experienced from work (as it was the cause of my PTSD diagnosis), I would never have been able to release my past trauma. Things happen for reason I know not and actually don't care anymore. I control nothing but myself...and I am fine with that. I am training my mind to stop thinking so much (suppressing emotion) and am now starting to feel. It is mentally / emotionally and physically exhausting but in time I do believe that I will rewire my neural pathways and heal. My thoughts will travel from a negative place to a positive in my mind. I don't regret the past as I truly love the man that I am and continue to be. I will never allow myself to be labeled as CPTSD. It is not who I am or what I am. I am a man that has accepted that its ok to be fragile...and I am ok...not everyday, but I am today. Each and everyday is truly a mental marathon.
Soon I will be slowly transitioning from formal pharmacological management to a more natural course of treatment (cannabis) I feel blessed to have the support and medical direction to pursue this treatment path. No judgment and tons of support from my treatment team. I have found medication side effects to be at times more problematic than the CPTSD itself. I have put forth much effort to try the traditional path of medicine, and am now at a point, and with the support of my healthcare team ready to try a new. I am hoping that cannabis can provide better relief as I need to sleep. Its difficult to function when waking from continued nightmares every night. I wish you all well. Be kind to each other.
Soon I will be slowly transitioning from formal pharmacological management to a more natural course of treatment (cannabis) I feel blessed to have the support and medical direction to pursue this treatment path. No judgment and tons of support from my treatment team. I have found medication side effects to be at times more problematic than the CPTSD itself. I have put forth much effort to try the traditional path of medicine, and am now at a point, and with the support of my healthcare team ready to try a new. I am hoping that cannabis can provide better relief as I need to sleep. Its difficult to function when waking from continued nightmares every night. I wish you all well. Be kind to each other.
