Sufferer Cptsd

[Adam Fitzpatrick]

I have just retired from a professional career lasting 40 years, but far from getting ready to enjoy the benefits of the effort, I am stillrandomly rebdered helpless by flashbacks to childhood abandonment and indifference. Alologies to anyone who suffered physical or sexual Abuse at the hands of their parents. I seemed to experience treatment that showed me I was a bit of a nuisance to the bigger plan.

 

[Bristol]

Welcome, everyone here is awesome youll find lots of support :)

 

[Intrepid]

Sexual and physical abuse here. No apologies necessary. I felt the affects of abandonment and indifference as well. My worst emotional abuse experience was of my mom telling me that she would have to move on with her life, and me trying to convince her to stay. At the end I shut off all my feelings. She stayed after that. I wonder if she wanted me to shut down, and if she was satisfied once I did.

Anyway, glad you made it here.

 

[Kintsugi]

Welcome to the forum, Adam.

There are many members here to suffered from abandonment/neglect/emotional abuse. Chava, who hasn't been here for awhile, sticks out to me as someone who has posted a lot about abandonment, isolation, neglect, and the lasting traumatic effects thereof (although she suffered other trauma types as well). I've found her threads really helpful for myself in sorting out my attachment problems.

I hope you find this forum to be an excellent resource. Anytime is a good time to focus on you, but in your retirement, maybe you can find space for yourself that wasn't there before.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Welcome. This is a great forum, full of good information. It doesn't matter what the cause was, the result was PTSD. No apologies. I was trafficked as a toddler, my symptoms are the same as yours, and we can learn coping skills from each other and help each other grow.

 

[Adam Fitzpatrick]

Thanks. There's so much to say. I'm currently depressed and off work. I have cancelled work stuff at short notice in the past when trapped by the inner critic in abandonment depression. On this occasion I tore a calf muscle, but the effect was the same a wobble, catastrophizing, toxic shame and inability to complete any routine tasks taking to my bed. I had to get away from my home. Cause my wife can't stand it again. I'm trying to find a therapist who can help.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Great idea! A trauma therapist can help a lot. I have a therapist now who used to work with traumatized children, and strangely that makes me feel so much safer. Well, maybe not strange at all.