Crippling Driving Anxiety, Can't Work Or Go To School

[Ptsd2015]

I was in a bad car accident almost 5 months ago. I don't remember most of the accident, but just some vague images and the strong emotions that I experienced. Right after the accident, I was not in good shape physically, but felt fine mentally. I actually had bad anxiety beforehand, and it went away for a while after the accident. I got better physically, but have kept declining mentally. A few weeks after the accident, I started experiencing the effects of PTSD. I go through mood swings, from feeling normal to feeling depressed. I also have worse anxiety than before, especially when driving. I have been experiencing phases of depression, where I feel I have no motivation in my life and no goals for the future. Everything seems boring or sad and nothing can make me happy, not hardly even my family. I also experience bad anxiety when I'm driving because I have this intense fear of passing out behind the wheel. It makes every trip somewhere extremely difficult and painful.
Before my accident, I lived 1 1/2 hour away from home at college. I felt pretty good there, but I often thought about transferring to school in the town where my parents are because of my anxiety. I drove home about every other weekend, because I would get very lonely living away from home. After my car accident, I had to move home for a semester, and am not sharing a car with my mom. I drive her far to work in the mornings, drive home, drive to class, drive home from class, then drive to get my mom and back home again. These drives are between 20 to 30 minutes each way. I get exhausted physically an emotionally from the driving. I am only taking part time classes, which was good at first because I needed to be able to recover. Now, I am finding myself with way too much time on my hands. My dad is starting to go back to work, and work every day, and I am left at home alone with absolutely nothing to do. I don't like to go anywhere because of my anxiety, but it seems that no matter what I do, I end up getting depressed when I am home alone all day.
I will be home alone all day 4 days this week and I don't know what to do. I get panic attacks when I am home alone, and get depressed during these long days. I have so much time on my hands, and I don't know how to get out of this mental rut.

 

[Friday]

Well, one solution you already have

I am only taking part time classes, which was good at first because I needed to be able to recover. Now, I am finding myself with way too much time on my hands.

Sounds like its time to add onto your course load. If it's too late for this quarter... There are heaps of classes published online through most major universities. I've audited courses through Oxford, Stanford, UCLA... Followed the syllabi, done the reading & coursework... <grin> and then "challenged" the parallel courses taught at my own university. Some for full credit, some for partial credit. Has saved me over 10k, not to mention the months where I couldn't be in school, in not needing to repeat them. Shaved almost a year off, in fact. But I have a freaking long degree path. :p Ugh. If out of the house would suit you better there are volunteer & internship positions in most fields.

Speaking of out of the house;

While in my own life I generally do the thing that scares me as the rule of thumb... There are also things where the added stress simply isn't worth it. At least, not at the moment. I'm left too exhausted, wrung out, unable to function outside of doing those things.

Which is what all those 30 minute drives sound like they might could be doing to you? The bus where I live is an absolute pain (what a geographical oddity, 3 transfers and 4 hours from everywhere! Ahem. Almost literally. The public transportation here is a mess), and there aren't trains or subways. If you want to get anywhere it's driving, bussing, or bicycle.

I would be leery of eliminating all the driving whatsoever, don't want to lose the tolerance to it... But perhaps there are days you could use alternate transportation? Get a break from driving exhaustion?