I hear you saying life sucks and is unfair, and why me? I always ask why not somebody else. So l am suggesting something different. I am wondering if you could try meditation with a red candle? Like sit down, practice breathing, then look into the candle flame and concentrate on releasing anger and betrayal and fear. Then concentrate on good feelings such as happiness, find one thing to be happy about, and breathe deep and feel peace even if for ten minutes. Also if you try yoga, and massage, warm baths to feel relaxation and to slowly release your past feelings of hell no, why me.