Dang It...

[alleycat]

I just realized I've been dissociating all damn day without realizing it. Crap. Now that I know I can't pull back -- my head feels ultra light and I'm not hearing things correctly, can't get my breathing into my diaphragm instead of my shoulders....sigh.

 

[Elle80]

Hi, all I can say really is that I can relate lots to what you've written, here. How are you doing, now?
elle

 

[alleycat]

At my parents' now. Been dissociating and having anxiety attacks at night, but other than higher than normal base anxiety the days are okay. Which is good, because my parents aren't exactly too understanding...

 

[Lucille]

Feeling this way right now. Just uncomfortable in my own skin so I leave mentally, but I try so hard to fight it because I don't want to dissociate from real life. It feels awful. Can't say much more about this at the moment though... Feeling panicked. Particularly set off by my father. He's so abrasive.

 

[alleycat]

*sigh* Today wasn't so good. Dissociated during the family get-together -- low level, no freezing, just off and disconnected to the point that dad and my brother noticed. Just panicked and anxious all day no matter what I did. Didn't even get into shooting, which always makes me feel better.

 

[Lucille]

I'm sorry alleycat, I am right there with you on this one. The last few days have been pretty rough for me as well. It's almost as if, it was easier when there were lots of family members around to distract me from everything. Now I have anxiety when it's just me and my parents in the house. I have been dissociating more than usual and definitely have those lovely outbursts of anger... which only makes things worse :(

Hugs for you alleycat! I hope you have a better day today. :inlove:

 

[alleycat]

I think it's just time and comments accumulating. For me it's worse when there are more people around, though. Means more overall stress, more expectations, and just more chaos. I'd much rather be here when dad is the only one home...

I think I'm going to head back to my place Sunday or Monday depending on how I feel after my drs appointment. I know I have more time before school starts but I'm just way too stressed and going down to the lake isn't going to be as helpful as just going to my place. :/