Darkness

[WildMermaid]

@Senecia wonderful paintings and I like your drawing of the Faun from Pan's Labyrinth too!

@davebassman409 I'm sorry but I don't know what MDMA is. :( I did try half a tab of acid once and it affected me for three days, and sometimes I still see inanimate objects move. I don't mess with it.

 

[WildMermaid]

I seek out the darkness in other writings and forms of art, such as in the works of Stephen King and Neil Gaiman, and in mythology and fairy tales (the original unedited ones). ..I want a tattoo on my back- a barren, Edgar Allen Poe style tree with birds flying out of it, as a link to my darkness.

@jaccat Stephen King is one of my favorites as well, and Gaiman when he was doing Books of Magic and Sandman. That tattoo is going to be stunning! <3

@WildMermaid do you have any white chocolate/macademia nut ones? .

Of course they are! *passes the plate* Every bit of this makes sense to me.

Thank you for the cookie :) and now for how I deal with my darkness. I tend to feel like those old cartoons with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, but not completely to that extreme...

That is exactly how i feel.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Born to Run I have visualized killing my stepfather (who my brother reports is actually dead) many times, and feel very little remorse about wishing him ill. I'm glad you have such honestly in your soul. *respect*

 

[davebassman409]

@davebassman409 I'm sorry but I don't know what MDMA is. :( I did try half a tab of acid once and it affected me for three days, and sometimes I still see inanimate objects move. I don't mess with it.

yeah that shit affects u for life. mdma is pure exctacy, mix that with a few tabs and if u wanna find your true darkness its a gateway into your soul. theres not a day that goes by that i dont think about my experience and it makes u see things another light. the media says drugs are bad but that only how you perceive them. it helps u understand yourself and target your true issues

 

[WildMermaid]

@davebassman409 thank you very much for explaining it to me. :) I won't be touching the stuff as i already have enough issues without adding hard drugs to the mix. Thank you for the information though. :)

 

[davebassman409]

yeah @WildMermaid it doesnt sound like the greatest idea but its a good way to feel free from whatevers bothering you and target the real issues in life.

 

[holdenmonty]

So I have been thinking about my darkness and I guess you could say I'm more ashamed of my darkness. But it seems like very similar to PTSD some people's darkness is very different but it other ways is very similar. I wish my darkness sparked creativity but with my training before I deployed they trained us on what to look out for in signs of an IED (improvised explosive devices) and basically through the training but mainly my deployment anger and hate became a big part of me and I feel like my darkness is mainly anger and hate. When I longed to kill the individuals that violated me by breaking into my home and stealing/destroying everything I saw them as a person from Afghanistan instead of somebody from the local area where it happened. My darkness comes out in protection because that is what I was taught to do. It was my job to do my job but protecting and security was a 24/7 thing while I was deployed so to me my darkness and my ptsd kind of are joined at the hip so to speak.

 

[WildMermaid]

I have an addiction to dark things. Creepy video games, horror movies, horror books (especially King, Poe, and sometimes Barker and Palahniuk) being faves, and yet I don't like reading overtly gross things. Here I am writing this story that deals with like 3 of my main fears, plus therapy, dissociation, and eyes and I don't know if this is a fair thing to put out in the world. I really do feel like my well of darkness is bottomless sometimes. Thank you all for your input I'm learning so much from you! :hug:

 

[Recovery4Me]

ah it doesnt sound like the greatest idea but its a good way to feel free from whatevers bothering you and target the real issues in life.

The Dark side of MDMA and some areas of you that are targeted in real issues of your life:

"Psychological effects can include confusion, depression, sleep problems, anxiety, and paranoia, sometimes lasting for weeks after taking the drug. Physical effects can include muscle tension, involuntary teeth-clenching, nausea, blurred vision, faintness, and chills or sweating. Increases in heart rate and blood pressure are a special risk for people with circulatory or heart disease.

Also, there is evidence that people who develop a rash that looks like acne after using MDMA may be risking severe side effects, including liver damage, if they continue to use the drug. Almost 60 percent of people who use Ecstasy report withdrawal symptoms, including fatigue, loss of appetite, depressed feelings, and trouble concentrating.

MDMA-related fatalities at raves have been reported. The stimulant effects of the drug, which enable the user to dance for extended periods, combined with the hot, crowded conditions usually found at raves can lead to dehydration, hyperthermia (dangerous increase in body temperature), and heart or kidney failure."

http://www.drugs.com/illicit/mdma.html

 

[WildMermaid]

:eek: Eep nope. nopers. not for me. :nailbiting: thank your the info though @Recovery4Me! :hug:

 

[holdenmonty]

You know I haven't even thought about those things. I have thought about watching a scary movie a few times but never actually have acted on my impulses. I remember years ago watching the movie ghost ship and enjoyed watching it

 

[WildMermaid]

@holdenmonty I watch scary t.v. shows and movies regularly. My husband plays freaky video games and I love watching them, though when I try and play my hands shake too badly. Skyrim is at about as freaky as the games I play myself can get. lol.