Relationship Dating Guy With Ptsd

[Headbed]

Hey there,

First I just want to say I've spent a whole reading through some posts on this forum and wow you guys are awesome, the support is amazing!

I've been dating my bf for a few while, I knew before we started e had been in an abusive relationship before and was suffering from PTSD but I don't think I truely understood what it meant. Since we've been together he's generally totally fine with me, but last week I came over after work and he had been drinking and smoking weed...I'm no angel but I really don't want to deal with that after a long day teaching, he was like a different person, he said it's to calm himself after bad nightmares because he could never explain how bad they are.

I really like this guy and was just wondering if you guys had any suggestions how I could support him so that he can maybe move away from relying on weed and beer when things get bad? He's been to therapy but stopped after a while saying he got sick of reselling the same stories. I find myself feeling so helpless because I'm not sure what to say or do and am worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and making it worse. Thanks so much xx

 

[Friday]

how I could support him so that he can maybe move away from relying on weed and beer when things get bad

My gut impulse is that even if such a thing were possible, and I don't know that it is, becoming someone's coping mechanism? Is a very dangerous place to be.

 

[Headbed]

My gut impulse is that even if such a thing were possible, and I don't know that it is, becoming someone...

I did think that, I guess I more meant is there any strategies that I could suggest to him to try so he doesn't rely on things that maybe aren't so healthy, rather than becoming that strategy myself...if that makes sense?

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome :)

I really like this guy and was just wondering if you guys had any suggestions how I could support him so that he can maybe move away from relying on weed and beer when things get bad?

10 years in and there still are times of beer and PTSD meltdowns but they can get better, much better and less frequent.

Your boyfriend has to want to not rely on those things as much and find better coping mechanisms.... you can only support him if he chooses to change the behaviour. I'm sorry I don't have much to offer tonight as I'm a bit over PTSD this week but I wanted you to know you're not alone. :)

 

[Glo809]

Greetings

With me, my meds are not working as well as they did in the past, and my general attitude has changed (always in the same manner).

If not addressed in a timely manner, the more difficult it is to regain what my new normal is going to be.

The Mrs is the canary in the coal mine, and there are others who keep an eye on me as well.

I have a 911 guy, who is a retired defense lawyer and he can see a bs story in an instant, he also can see true distress. If I'm in distress, I'll call him
I also gave him the authority to call 911 if he felt I was in danger.

And there are the others I trust to tell me if I'm getting kinda weird.

Hope this helps.
G

 

[Headbed]

Thanks for the advice guys, I'm definitely going to steer him towards this forum too. X