Days Like Today Feel Overwhelming

[canucklady]

Days like today, don't even know where to start. Days like today, just feel like giving up on therapy. Days like today feel hopeless. Do I start backwards in life with abusive ex boyfriend and how he really screwed me up. Or do I start from beginning, with parents and relatives who criticized everything, and caregiver's husband who..... Or with boys at school that cornered me in grade six. or with girls at school who bullyed me because boys thought was pretty. Then there is eating disorder, where I eat to stay overweight so am safe. or the voices I hear. Or days like today where i cant get out of bed. what do I work on first. Feels like am drowning.

 

[Tiger Kitten]

When I feel overwhelmed like that. I just work on one thing that makes me feel comforted or a little better. I work on what I can. If getting out of bed is an accomplishment, congratulate yourself on that. If breathing is an accomplishment, congratulate yourself for doing that. I have a hard time looking at the big picture sometimes. I have to step back and just do what I can for the moment. When I can't make it out of bed, I congratulate myself on breathing. Each little thing is an accomplishment for me. I have found that when I take each little thing that I am able to do as an accomplishment; it helps me build on the positive. When I dwell on the things that knock me down or that I just cannot manage that day; I build on the negative.

The first lesson I had to learn to get anything done was to tell myself "good job" for each little thing I did get done. Like I said, sometimes it's only breathing or remembering to blink, but it is something positive I am doing for myself. Therefore, someone should tell me "good job". It may as well be me. It feels really silly at first, and it probably won't seem like it is working. It has made a world of difference for me though. I think perhaps it is something that was lacking when I was growing up, and now I need it to learn to be more positive. I don't really know why it helps, but it helps me especially when I am overwhelmed.

Tiger

 

[suzie q]

My therapist had me write a life history like I was writing a biography. I was in a treatment center at the time (addiction,eating disorder,DID,self mutilation) and it took me about 10 days of working 5-6 hours a day. I started with my first memory, my age and where I lived. I would write 2 or 3 memories and then take a break for a few hours.

Once the memories were written, I processed them with my therapist. She would pick in the beginning, then I would tell her which ones I wanted. Getting everything on paper and out of my head helped me process so much better and gave my therapist a direction.

I had written my story before in diary form. Writing it in story form helped me see the trauma better and I wasn't so scared to talk about or work on it. My therapist never let me leave while I was freaked, she helped me settle down and grounded me back to reality. She made me acknowledge that I was safe and was not the person being abused. I was the adult. Leaving my sessions grounded and safe made it easier to continue working on my pain and memories. The first time through took me several years but each time I reprocess a memory the anxiety and fear is much reduced and I'm able to learn more.

Tiger is right...giving yourself cudos and staying positive is a great way to stay clear-minded and focused. The vision of myself and my abilities change when I'm there and my self-esteem improves as well! After all, look at me! (my avatar). Do I need a wig?

Take care of you....suzie q