Dealing With A Big Disclosure...

[Red shoe girl]

Im 22 female living in UK and in therapy over a year now for c-trauma.
Yesterday I made a big disclosure about a trauma that I had kept a secret since it happened eight years ago. I saw a female friend get sexually assaulted.

I feel weird since the lid has finally been lifted but don't quite know how to cope as it had been such a big secret.

Any tips or similar experience?

 

[anonymous]

Yesterday I made a big disclosure

To who? Was it intentional?

don't quite know how to cope

Can you expand a bit? In what ways do you feel like you're not coping with it?

I have struggled after disclosing various things to my therapist. I think it is probably quite common to experience some anxiety and vulnerability about something being 'out' that has been kept secret a long time.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Red Shoe
Welcome to the forum!

I'm guessing that after a year in therapy, you will have pretty good knowledge of PTSD

for any who don't have a good understanding, What you have done is a huge step forward.

the inability to go anywhere near a trauma memory, and the massive feelings of guilt, feelings of shame and feelings that we need to hide from good people - to the extent that we have huge difficulty functioning, are such big parts of PTSD (feelings are real but they are not reality).

Being able to put your memory into words and speak them to another person is a huge step on your road to healing. Congratulations!

You mention that you have suffered complex traumas. I'm guessing that perhaps you have a freeze response to danger?
I can empathise with how difficult it is to explain to anyone else, and how even more difficult still it is to accept ourselves, that we really were paralysed and could not act.

Starting to face PTSD can be a strange experience - a bit like the red pill scene in the Matrix. and by deffinition we tend to be socially isolated.

This forum is a safe place with a great bunch of great people who really know what it is like, and there is non judgemental support, advice and space to vent 24/7/365.

Welcome to the site and good luck on your healing journey
@

 

[Red Shoe Girl]

To who? Was it intentional?

Can you expand a bit? In what ways do you feel like you're not coping wit...

I made the disclosure to my T during a session and it was intention though it took weeks to build up the courage and do it
Since the session I've been having a lot of flashbacks and generally finding it harder to cope