Dealing With A Narcissist (successfully?)

[xraydave]

It's amazing how often "narcissists" get brought up around here! To be clear, neither my mother nor my b...

I can relate. I mean, the family of people who have undiagnosed NPD. and yeah, NPD much like other personality disorders, are marked by a tendency to 'escape' their diagnosis. that sort of shit happens in prison and apparently that makes things so much harder for professionals.

Have you ever had 'family arguments' where these people would throw chairs and smash glass and then at the end of the day, act like nothing happened at all? That's what it was like as a kid in my family. My brother pushed and physically harmed me or at least, threatened to beat the shit out of me over small things, and dad would do the same. My dad also has a belief in unicorns, fantasy things, like astrology and superstitions and aliens. it's schizotypal-like and very strange sometimes. anyway, there is also this

"my brother went on about how hard he had it and I asked what I could do to help"

I think this is something to do with NPD, I heard someone on youtube who had NPD (diagnosed) who said they are 'drama queens' like the type to 'oh i don't have any money! if only i had money! dear lord' in a way, to gain profit and money from others. because people pay attention more to those who whine and complain like that. i found my dad and brother to be like this, in many different ways.

Anyway, if the question is, "does my brother have an upper hand if you were to take this to court". I don't this so. You should take this to court, and yes, you don't need a solicitor to establish a will (or whatever a will is, you could establish a trust** as well, in order to get that stuff given directly to you from the will - at least that's how i understand it) . This is also a common practice in australia, that the courts can enforce a will, even if it is not registered (i know because i've heard law professors say this to me). A trust can be legally binding as well, and is different from a will. Anywhom, to clarify either, you will need a lawyer, to help establish that the connection does exist. This is smack bang in the lawyer's expertise, and they can help get rid of anyone trying to demolish a will for malicious purposes (just, hire a good one).

 

[scout86]

Have you ever had 'family arguments' where these people would throw chairs and smash glass and then at the end of the day, act like nothing happened at all?

No, my mom and brother threw hateful words instead. Same general idea though. My dad.... was a nice guy and I'd say pretty "normal". Except that he seemed to miss a lot of the undercurrent of what was going on. And, he was a school guidance counselor. (And good at it. And much loved by nearly all the students he worked with.) So, you'd think he'd have noticed some stuff. But, he kind of had his own version of believing in unicorns, maybe.

I think this is something to do with NPD,

I think you're right. My mom did a version of the same thing.

The estate situation is settled. My brother bought our mom's house. I kind of think he tricked her with the contract, but can't prove it. She was, technically, competent which means she got to make her own mistakes. The personal property was supposed to be split 50/50. It wasn't but that's because there's nothing there I felt was worth fighting about. The best thing is, I can slam to door shut on that part of my life and get on with more interesting and worthwhile things. I hope you can do the same @xraydave . You're entitled to a great life and I think you have a lot to offer the world.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are a smart cookie and too bad if you lost your temper for a moment. Many hugs to you. I think you are very strong and good. You have a good plan to put into effect and I hope that you are ok. You sound really strong and I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

I am so glad you were able to get the things you wanted in spite of everything that went on. i have learned so much from reading through this thread and I am so grateful to you for posting and sharing your experience. I sure hope that you get all of the hope you need.