Sufferer Dealing With Guilt Of Turning In Abusers

[PoopyPTSD]

Hi,

I am new here. I have been coming to terms with sexual, mental and physical abuse PTSD. My PTSD really started surfacing after we had our first child. Just currently reported it to authorities but it happened over 30 years ago. Trying to take one day at a time. Nice to meet people who understand.

 

[RavenGirl]

@PoopyPTSD , welcome to the forum. :) You shouldn't feel bad, the abusers should. As my T says, that's not guilt. Guilt is when you feel bad for something you did wrong and you DIDN'T do wrong. She told me what this is called is the shame game; the abusers trying to shift shame onto us to make us feel guilt for turning them in our talking about what they did. I hope your abuser (s) get punished to the full extent of the law. :devilish: The People here definitely understand. Welcome, and I hope you find the understanding and support that you are looking for. :hug:

 

[PoopyPTSD]

Thank you so much, I don't know why I haven't reached out sooner. I'm so tired of holding it in besides my husband and therapist, it's so foreign to other people. What's even harder is my sister 18 years older told me stuff happened to her, she was coming down to family conference to tell it all, and she completely denied when she got there, I think my dad called her. Then she said I was crazy going round telling everyone I'm crazy horrible person. I call her Judas, lol. My dad pays her car payment etc. then my brother who says he believes me, calls my parents but never calls me and treats me like I'm nothing. It gets me so down, like it has to be me, I seem to ruffle feathers everywhere I go. I just believe in truth. People don't seem to like that. No my health is suffering. I decided I'm not going to worry to that extent anymore, I have to do something for me or it's going to kill me in every way.

 

[intothelight]

@PoopyPTSD. Welcome to the forum!

In no way should you feel guilty for turning a pedophile in. You did not make him act out and rarely do they stop with one victim. The problem is with some family members, it is easier to live in denial, rather than to face the truth.

My family dealt with a similar situation, and it did cause a rift. Over time (and after a conviction) the rift closed somewhat, but there is still some healing to do. I hope you find the information and support hear helpful to your healing.

 

[PoopyPTSD]

Thank you for your support, you have helped me so much already

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Thank you for your support, you have helped me so much already

Hey there - welcome - I feel truth - especially done with as much compassion for ourselves as possible is the best way to heal

Take care - Laurie

 

[PoopyPTSD]

I think what is the hardest for me. Is after my dad did what he did. It was caught by her. For years I was severely abused and treated as the "other women". She always did a lot of medical things to me. Then she said what was good for him was good for her and started doing inappropriate things. I think I can get over what he did, a lot quicker than I can get over what she did. I hate what it's made me, I can't get along with other women actually I could really choke some especially if they flirt with my husband. I like men and feel always rejected by them. It's so hard to live with the fact that they hid it, and I have been suffering out of their own selfishness. I'm just glad I don't go near them. It would be a very scary time.

 

[RavenGirl]

@PoopyPTSD , my sister now knows what happened to me. She says they tried it with her too.:confused: She hangs out with them and goes drinking with them... crazy right! ? :banghead:She says she'll support me even go with (if I want her to) when I tell my parents, yet she HANGS with the abusers. There's no way we can ever explain why people do what they do.:tdown: We can only do what's best for us. As I say, Time to cut out the CANCER from our lives and do what's best for us. :tup:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Wow did I ever need to see this thread. I recently called the police and made a report about child abuse to my older granddaughter and I too was plagued with guilt because of my daughter calling what I did a betrayal of her trust. In no way did I betray her trust. I know the truth now and I feel so much crap falling off of my shoulders now.

You did the right thing You have no reason at all to feel guilty. You have a lot of inner strength, courage and bravery. You did the right thing and I am so grateful to you for sharing your story. Thank you so much. Hugs.

 

[PoopyPTSD]

Thank you, be proud for stepping up and doing what's right!

:tup:

 

[RavenGirl]

@gizmo , good for you too!! Abusers like the shame game! Shame us so we feel guilt for doing the RIGHT thing. I'm proud of you for turning in the abusers. No guilt for us, they're only mad we were brave enough to stand up to them.:tup: GOOD JOB PEOPLE. Can't wait until I'm brave enough to tell my patents. Already "called my brother out" as an abuser, so I'm sure he's scared as heck for when I spill to the patents. :sneaky:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so much @RavenGirl for defining the situation to me. Because that is exactly what my daughter is doing to me. She crossed a line and became an abusive parent. I am beginning to see with new eyes now. Hugs to you.