Dealing with Triggers in cPTSD - How do I explain to people who don’t understand?

[Andomedalin]

Good day,

This is my 1st post on here. My apologies if it repeats what other posts said before. I have cPTSD. So everything came together today causing me to trigger when I felt like no matter what i do i can't please everyone. In the end i did nothing. I was crying. I couldn't ask help from people in my house and was reaching out to relative strangers on WhatsApp. Is this a thing people do with PTSD?

So basically i went into freeze. And then fawn. It was exhausting and i got really sleepy after 2 hours so i slept. Now i just feel ashamed. How do i explain triggers to people who don't understand. I can't communicate properly when i am having a trigger especially people close to me. The words wont come out and it feels as if i am gagged. But i would like to talk to them about it beforehand.

There is one person in my life in particular who just doesn't understand. Problem is i am semi trauma bonded to him and when i trigger i try to get him to understand even though i know he will not. Afterwards the shame is bad. How do i get myself to not go to him when I am triggering.

Thank you

 

[arfie]

hello andomedalian. welcome to the forum.

Is this a thing people do with PTSD?

the symptoms of my own, first person singular case of complex ptsd stir up differently for each spin of the not-so-merry-go-round. every time i think i have all the answers, the questions change. then we get to the unique differences between each case. . . how can people with ptsd have so much in common within such diversity?

There is one person in my life in particular who just doesn't understand. Problem is i am semi trauma bonded to him and when i trigger i try to get him to understand even though i know he will not. Afterwards the shame is bad. How do i get myself to not go to him when I am triggering.

i've had more than one person in my life fill this role for me. the quirk has cost me more than one relationship, both romantic and platonic. in making this post, you are already using my most effective tool for repeating that woeful herstory. carrying my psychosis to my therapy support network and working it out there addresses the needs attached far more effectively than carrying it to someone i already know won't understand.

but that is me and every case is unique. . .
steadying support while you sort your own case. welcome aboard.

 

[Friday]

This is my 1st post on here. My apologies if it repeats what other posts said before. I have cPTSD. So everything came together today causing me to trigger when I felt like no matter what i do i can't please everyone. In the end i did nothing. I was crying. I couldn't ask help from people in my house and was reaching out to relative strangers on WhatsApp. Is this a thing people do with PTSD?

Even people without stress related disorders often find it easier to talk to, or unburden themselves on strangers, especially on difficult topics, and when we’re not our best.

Add in a stress related disorder? The numbers skew even harder.

Generally speaking; the closer, the more important, the relationship? The more stress. As they, themselves, matter to us, as well as how we effect them. Their good opinion (often) matters. Our lives, livelihoods, living situations may well depend upon them. What some random person on the street thinks of me? And how I effect them? Is far less important than what my boss thinks of me. Or my friends. Or my family.

So basically i went into freeze. And then fawn. It was exhausting and i got really sleepy after 2 hours so i slept. Now i just feel ashamed. How do i explain triggers to people who don't understand. I can't communicate properly when i am having a trigger especially people close to me. The words wont come out and it feels as if i am gagged. But i would like to talk to them about it beforehand.

How I explain anything to anyone depends almost entirely on WHY I want to explain it to them, with a rather large dash of WHAT do I expect from having done so?

Which means I almost never explain myself to anyone. As I don’t need to justify or apologize for being me. I’m me. C’est Moi. This is my side of the street, over here.

My actions & behaviors, likes & dislikes, hopes & dreams, challenges & frustrations, triumphs & failures… I may or may not conceptualise for people.

There is one person in my life in particular who just doesn't understand. Problem is i am semi trauma bonded to him and when i trigger i try to get him to understand even though i know he will not. Afterwards the shame is bad.

How do i get myself to not go to him when I am triggering.

Practice.

Changing behaviour nearly always requires a whole helluva lot of practice.

What have I tried that has/hasn’t worked, & then draw up a list of further possibilities to try based off of those lists?

 

[PlainJane]

@Andomedalin, please log in to comment.

 

[CurlingCuando]

Good day,

This is my 1st post on here. My apologies if it repeats what other posts said before. I have cPTSD. So everything came together today causing me to trigger when I felt like no matter what i do i can't please everyone. In the end i did nothing. I was crying. I couldn't ask help from people in my house and was reaching out to relative strangers on WhatsApp. Is this a thing people do with PTSD?

So basically i went into freeze. And then fawn. It was exhausting and i got really sleepy after 2 hours so i slept. Now i just feel ashamed. How do i explain triggers to people who don't understand. I can't communicate properly when i am having a trigger especially people close to me. The words wont come out and it feels as if i am gagged. But i would like to talk to them about it beforehand.

There is one person in my life in particular who just doesn't understand. Problem is i am semi trauma bonded to him and when i trigger i try to get him to understand even though i know he will not. Afterwards the shame is bad. How do i get myself to not go to him when I am triggering.

Thank you

I have PTSD and have been with people who actually enjoy pushing every PTSD button to see the response. They are unkind and very unhealthy and unhelpful. They want to "see how I'm doing". Pure stupidity. Personally I stopped explaining anything to anyone.If someone really cares they will want you comfortable and happy not feeling horrible. If I'm triggered by one of those people who does it to test my PTSD, my response never changes. There is no shame. Shame on them for doing something they know will be a painful flashback. Screw that. I never got help for PTSD from multiple assaults even. Instead I was put in intensive exposure therapy which I did not agree to so it made me sick and I had to release everyone who decided I needed to be triggered 24 hours a day. You would never bring a combat veteran to combat to ease their PTSD so why do it to anyone else. Stop explaining. Exit. That's my take. The right people don't want you feeling bad in their presence.