Decreasing Therapy?

[quaintpapercut]

Has anyone ever decreased the frequency of their therapy appointments as a means of reducing/managing your symptoms?

I'm tired. Of everything really and have been thinking of a drastic change in how I've been dealing with things. I'm coming off of a very bad cycle with symptoms and I'm really not sure I have the stamina to handle another round. It seems like I'm getting worse, not better and I wonder if taking a step back and giving myself some time to adjust is the answer.

Therapy has been and always will be difficult for me. I understand its a necessary evil in order for me to get better and I'm so thankful for how far I've already come. But this is hard work and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it at the moment. I think that if I was able to just focus on therapy it would be fine, but therapy combined with all the outside stresses of dealing with a combative employer, losing my career and having no money is pushing me over the edge.

So I've been thinking of ways I can change the dynamic myself. I'm not receiving any income from work and the environment is so poisoned for me that I don't think I could ever go back. The only reason I've put up with their constant demands is 1) to keep my benefits in tact and 2) on the off chance my insurance benefits are instated (currently under appeal) I may feel well enough at some point to consider going back. It's all future security based, it provides me nothing in the here and now except extreme unmanageable stress.

I've been thinking about letting my employer fire me as trying to comply with their ever evolving demands is taking up to much of my precious emotional equity. I have a good paper trail on them - and I know that a good lawyer will be able to make a case for constructive dismissal. I would have up to a year to file a claim.

Decreasing my therapy from twice a week to maybe twice a month or once a week. I don't want to go deep anymore. I really just want to skim the surface and use it as a means to keep myself stable and maintain that connection with my therapist. With the money I would save I've been thinking about using it towards more body work - a monthly yoga pass, maybe some meditation classes? It would still be less than therapy and it would also leave a little bit more at the end of the month.

I would also put myself on the waiting list for a psychiatrist and then once I have that additional support in place, consider going back to therapy twice a week.

I don't want to make a dumb decision but everything just feels so stagnant and hard. Therapy and work stress are the two things that keep me symptomatic so I wonder if its logical to think that removing them would make me feel better?

 

[Rumors]

I go once a week and sometimes I totally blow it off because I can't deal with it. I think it is a form of self preservation and although my therapist asks me to come in on those days because he thinks that is the exact time I need therapy, I don't. He gives me leverage to know what I can and can't do and has been understanding with the thought that perhaps one day I will come in regardless. It probably won't happen anytime soon but wishful thinking I guess.

I find it hard to juggle work, motherhood, house, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and mental case some weeks so I drop the mental case and apply my energy to the things that mean the most at the time. I, too, am feeling pretty wiped out by therapy and question if I can keep up the emotional struggle much longer. Stuffing it feels good on occasion but unfortunately it always rears it's ugly head again. The other unfortunate thing is that I have almost discovered TOO much about myself to quit completely now. I am flawed beyond belief and have no idea how to fix it. By the grace of God I landed in that therapy office and I guess I should continue until I can learn the skills to deal with the past in a healthy manner. I am not sure I can/could without assistance regardless but I have now remembered too much to go back. I guess I mean I can't stuff it all back into me now. It's too late!

I wish you strength and luck in your continued endeavors! I hope you find a mix that is ok for you!

 

[safenow]

When I was doing deep trauma recovery, I couldn't work any longer. I had to see my therapist twice a week, and even then it wasn't enough. But then I figured out that rather than do so much at once, why not just dip into one thing, then learn how to cope wihen it comes back up, then go on to the next one. I discussed it with my T and she agreed. So we backed off, and suddenly (like 3 months later) I found that I was wanting to go back to work. Then, we cut back to once a month. It worked out great. Finally, I was working and doing well for over a year, so we stopped therapy all together.

Until another trauma, then one of my alters moved us to another state, and by the time I came back out, a lot of time had passed, and I needed help to cope with that new trauma, so I had to find another therapist. LOL. Funny now, not so funny back then.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Talk to your therapist about this. I was going twice a week, and wanted a break, and it was not good. I cut down to once a week and continued to stagnate. It was only after going back twice a week and resolving to work on issues, did I break through. Can you take a leave without losing benefits?

 

[quaintpapercut]

Rumors, I relate to everything you wrote in your post. It does feel like a form of self preservation for me because I don't know how much longer I can keep up with feeling so consistently bad. I'm not even looking for happy at the moment, all I'm looking for is for life to feel "adequate".

I'm tired of feeling this way. Of having to confront really difficult aspects of myself week after week after week. Everything feels like a huge uphill battle at the moment and I'm just so sick of dealing with myself. Basically I have four months left before I run out of my savings and I will have no money left. I'm hoping at that point my insurance dispute will be resolved, but if its not, I'm going to have to look at returning to some form of work. I won't need to work at the level that I was before but I will need to try to find something. Thinking out loud, maybe this is the best way for me to do it. Try to get used to some of the stresses of the outside world while not working, instead of suddenly having to deal with a new job and all the stresses associated with that at the same time.

I had to see my therapist twice a week, and even then it wasn't enough. But then I figured out that rather than do so much at once, why not just dip into one thing, then learn how to cope wihen it comes back up, then go on to the next one.

I agree. Two times is not enough for me with the stuff that we are talking about. I feel like I haven't been able to gain my footing for a really long time now. I like your approach a lot. Maybe slow and steady wins the race.

But I would have to find some way of making myself accountable. I don't have multiple personality disorder but I am heavily dissociative and worry that I'll slip into my old patterns and behaviours quickly. Convince myself, that I really am better and that everything before was hugely overstated. And why in the world would I need therapy?

Geez. How sad is it when you have to protect yourself from yourself?

 

[quaintpapercut]

I want to work on my issues but don't feel I can because of the work issue :(.

I feel like I'm constantly having to keep my guard up and manage the situation with work to make sure they don't screw me over. I am on a medical leave - no pay, but benefits. But my employer wants me back very very badly and are making it very difficult for me to continue to be off. They are not satisfied with standard medical notes and are asking for information that I don't want to share with them and which I might add, they are not legally entitled to. My employer has no standards in how to deal or support employees with mental illness so they are basically flying by the seat of their pants. For example, in order to continue to support that my absence is of a "medical nature" the employee health unit has requested I provide them with information (diagnosis, prognosis, history, symptoms) that they have no legal right to. The only thing they are entitled to is information on my functional impairments as it relates to my ability to do my job. But yet, if I don't provide them with what they are asking, they'll fire me.

It's so frustrating because I know what they are doing is wrong on so many levels but I feel like I'm in no position to fight them. It pushes me over the edge. I even sent her an email requesting that we put our negotiations on hold in relation to the information I need to provide as I was extremely unstable - and her response was to bad.

The other thing I've thought of telling them is to stop my benefits completely so there taking no financial hit for me being off. At least I maintain some sort of job security. I just can't believe that they can treat people so badly.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It sounds like you need a lawyer to help you deal with your boss especially since they are crossing proffessional line. I wish you the best.This must be playing havoc with your mental well being.

This is a very serious thing, and I do not have to tell you that. I would get an attorney to handle all correspondance with your higher ups. Good luck.

 

[safenow]

I agree with Gizmo. You need an attorney.

If you live in the USA, you can get an ADA attorney who will work on fee for you. The laws protecting mental health patients are wonderful now. Much better than in history.

Good luck.

 

[Abstract]

QP,
The first thing that comes to mind is that it seems the first big problem is your workplace. It sounds like it is very damaging to your wellbeing at present.

The second question I have is if you maybe feel you are just going too fast in therapy. I do know someone who spaced out her appointments but she was very good with skills and coping and was at a point in recovery where she totally trusted and was able to hold onto trust with her therapist.

You say what is difficult about therapy is that you have to confront really difficult parts of yourself week after week. Is there any way of softening that and rather working on stabilisation, affirmations etc every second session?

What normally happens when you have less sessions with your T? Good and bad.

 

[piratelady]

Personally, I did better when I cut my appointments back from once a week to twice a month. It gave me time to think about and process what we discussed. Also, it forced me to use the skills I was learning to cope. When I was going more often, I found I was bottling everything up until my appointment. Then I would scramble to deal with all of it with the therapist. Once I had longer between appointments I found I was getting better at coping on my own. Everyone is different. It is definitely worth a conversation with your therapist I think.

 

[Abstract]

QP,
The other thing that occurred to me is that I think you said you have the same problem as me - admitting how badly you are doing and asking for more support. Do you think its possible your therapist doesn't realise how destabilised you are? He can only pace things properly and give you all the support you need if he fully understands the situation and where you are at.

 

[Hashi]

Therapy twice a week sounds like a lot to me. Mine has only ever been once a week. When therapy's less intense and more about support I wish it was twice a week, but when I'm doing intense work I need a week to decompress between sessions. Personally I wouldn't like a longer interval than that, or I think I'd lose momentum.

Regarding work, I really sympathise with you. I was made redundant last Autumn, and I'm living off the redundancy money at the moment. My last work situation was horrible and so was everything around leaving, plus there was a lot of legal stuff, meetings with union representatives, everything having to be documented, and some very sensitive discussions around health... some very insensitive ones, too. Something like that is extremely stressful, and takes time to recover from afterwards.

Maybe you already are, but I'd recommend taking legal advice before deciding on any action such as telling them to stop your benefits or letting them fire you. There could be implications later. I know it's really difficult to keep going with something like this at the time, but it might be worth it for the sake of your future self, especially if you have a strong legal case if you keep going. Of course, after finding out and thinking about it, you might feel it's best to cut yourself free right now - in which case, you'll know that you made the best decision you could.

I agree with Abstract that having a different focus in therapy for a while is also an option to consider. It could be for a few weeks straight, if you felt that might be what you need. That's how I've always done therapy - a few weeks or months of intense work, then maybe two to six weeks on coping, stabilising and reviewing things. I'll also have a coping/stabilising session quite often in the middle of the deeper work. The "quieter" sessions are also a chance to talk through how to use better skills in practical situations, for example strategies for dealing with a meeting I've got the following week.

Have you talked to your therapist about how you're feeling?