Depression And Did

[Phenioxrising]

I have had DID for a bit over a year now. The alter came with it's own fantasy situation and I can't help stop the dissociation and keep from slipping into that. I don't believe the fantasy, but the alter wants me to . What the alter wants is for me to get into a relationship, so I won't be lonely, also to have a kid. I'm in no position now to handle this. I don't like having DID at all but can accept it.

My T, as well as my Psych. knows about this, but no amount of pills or help from them seems to help at all. It seems since DID my life has abandoned me. I would like to get to a place where I can live content, if not with a little more happiness in my life. I get out well and am not isolating. Just at my wits end. I have nothing and no reason to care about living.

 

[Abstract]

Is this when you were fixating on a "relationship" with your therapist and decided to go ahead? Was it not your therapist instigating and approaching you for this after all? Did anything happen between the two of you?

 

[Phenioxrising]

That was the alter when he had more control than I could handle. Nothing happened, and my Pdoc understands. It was all the alter, but I have to wonder what triggered this as, I had never saw him prior to me getting DID. I'm just in that place where nothing seems to go right and my depression is takeing over. I have no one to talk to that understands.

 

[mytai]

Hey @Phenioxrising . I don't personally have DID, but I lived with someone who does. It was very difficult to be around her before I knew that was what was going on. We had a falling out because of some lies she told which seriously hurt me and caused me great physical suffering, but when we were on good terms it was easier to understand her once I knew about the DID.

If you need someone to vent to, or chat with I'm here.

 

[Britt.f7]

I don't have DID, but I do have depression. Sometimes it seems like it is just waiting there for me to fold. I had a very bad episode last year and have been doing better since (night and day), but I am not all the way whole. I wonder if I will ever be. I feel like I am sliding, sometimes, back in. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in that, though, I imagine it must be oh so much harder with an alter and reality. I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

 

[Abstract]

Hi,

I am glad your psychiatrist knows. Did you end up actually having a relationship with your T and are you still seeing him?

I am sorry things are so bad. There are a few people on here with DID if you look around. I think the stuff with your therapist would be enough to cause most people to have a lot of problems afterwards and that is without the added DID issues. I think it's important to look at all that happened if that is when things started going so badly.

What does your psychiatrist say about all of this? Again, is this T the same T that made innapropriote advances to you?

 

[therisa]

Like @Britt.f7 , I suffer from depression (chronic and severe) and understand the struggle to keep yourself, in equilibrium. (My last black depression, almost cost me, my life, in December 2010-January 2011) I hope, you are able to find a way to keep on top.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes it's the same Psych, and yes it was all the alter and a fantasy involved. He knows about this and has been supportive, though no relationship advances have been made. Though he did look like he got stuck in an attraction stare once. Which set my alter off. I just can't seem to trust anyone but him lately.

I have been dealing with the DID fairly well. I just don't know how DID affects others and if others slip into fantasy dissociations as well.

 

[Abstract]

Thanks for explaining more. So if I understand correctly all those advances from your t were a fantasy? You are saying that other than one possible stare he never really made any advances on you and that was all your alters fantasy? Is that correct? There was no abuse of his position after all. What were you aware of at the time? What did you think happened?

Would you like to share in what other ways the DID affects you now?

It might work to write a thread about the fantasy issue as there is always someone who relates in one way or the other.

Have they given you an official diagnoses?

 

[Phenioxrising]

DID is the official Dx. It haunted me and scared me out of the house. Also had some dissociative seziures. It was all the alter, I was aware just didn't understand what was going on at the time or why I thought that way. At the er some of the dr's yelled at me too much for no good reason. I'm not sure what exact cause of the onset of DID is for my case but I'm still looking to find out,