Depression

[Megan]

I just feel depressed all the time.
I just wonder how people live life? I have always had trouble talking but had a great sense of imagination. Now I feel like I don't have both. I feel like my eyes are always deceiving me in some form. I was at the mall today, and I just felt out of place. I remember it was my favorite place, where I went practically every day even though I didn't buy anything. Now I feel like I buy a lot of things I don't use just to do something. I don't know how I'm going to live because I buy things practically every day out of pure boredom. I bake even though I don't need the extra sugar and calories.

I just feel like I don't deserve what I have, psychically. I feel spoiled even though I hate life. I hate having material objects and having no real friends local. I have many pen pals and online friends but sometimes I just feel like I see them the way I WANT to see them and not how they truly are. I just feel like there are no good people in the world today after all I been through in my 25 years of life. I feel old. :(.

I feel like there is a rush to get married and/or have a baby which I feel like I can't have because of my PTSD. I have a dog that keeps me company but I'm not attached to her, the way I used to be with my other dog. She greets me at the door every time, but I just feel like I don't appreciate anybody except myself. :(

 

[Meadowsweet]

I don't know if you are able to work, or if you are already working, so ofcourse ignore me if its not appropriate. But if you're bored and shopping for something to do, maybe you could take a job to fill your time.

I struggle with fitting in and forming social relationships. So I find that work (or uni) allows me to be amongst people and be distracted from my own problems, without the pressures of social relationships.

 

[Barberian]

I'm not currently able to leave the house much, but before I got bad, I would help with the homeless, elderly or special olympics events occasionaly. The feeling of pure joy and happiness that I recieved back from these people was truly a humbling experience and one I still treasure to this day. It sure puts things in perspective for those who have stuff, including food, a roof over your head, clothing, etc. I would do it today if I could be around people and stand the noise (noise hypersensitivity).

Just an idea, not sure what your circumstances are and if your able to help out.