I am going to lose my husband, I do not know when, but he suffers from several diseases and is fading fast. I am interested in learning what has helped you.
Hi Gizmo,
So very, very sorry to hear about your husband's situation. Mine was a bit different, it was totally out of the blue, it was initially very surreal. What helped with the grief, was I had always been a very spiritual person, so I drew upon my spirituality to help with the grieving and the loss, it was still tough and I literally cried daily for four years.
Diversions are also important, as the pain is to intense, you need brief moments of relief, and of course, you need healthy diversions, that is very key. I guess having a deep understanding that everything here is impermanent, helped also.
If you have the opportunity, to speak with your husband about things like, his funeral/services, whether he wants to be cremated (we had spoken randomly about that, so I had him cremated, and bought a heart necklace, that I have some of his ashes in). And just know, that some day when it is your time, you will be with him again.
Our lives here and time here is impermanent, even as well as our separation from them ;). I never was one for meds, so I never went that route. I was given a very mild anti-anxiety, to help me sleep, because in the beginning I couldn't sleep at all. I would literally go up to 4 days with no sleep and then collapse from sheer exhaustion, after about 3 yrs of suffering with the ptsd I did try some meds, tried 4 of them and then realized it was not my route, they made me feel so racey it was awful.
I then researched day and night about ptsd, because I couldn't stand living with the uncomfortable feelings from it. I found this man his last name is Figley, forget his first name, anyhow, he referred me to a dr close to me in MA his name is Dr. Ruden, he had treated thousands of people from 9/11 so I figured he could possibly help me. He did, but, then some of the trauma came back via my child. (long story).
The most annoying things for me with the ptsd, was every time my daughter would go out, and if I heard ambulances or sirens, I would have to contact her to make sure she was okay. I used to have a lot of intrusions (seeing my husband falling to his death) that was how he died, and then having treatment that Dr. Ruden did stopped that.
I used to get very, very agitated driving, that stopped, but, if I get stressed out, with even the littlest things, it can create a domino affect. I find staying away from stressful people and situations help. I would def take meds, if I could without any side effects, it's such a horrid thing to live with.
Hope this all made sense. And once again, so very sorry to hear about your situation.
