One of the things that I have been dealing with ever since I was first in grocery and even now in the deli is my anger manifesting in a form of rebellion under extreme stress/anxiety. While I now know that this
PTSD and is funneled through my
DID neither conditions the company knows about because of my resistance to disclose
WHAT my disabilities
ARE.
These blow ups have been occurring as far back as my teen years and perhaps even earlier without understanding then as I do now. While my control of this anger is not as loose cannon since I realized and have implemented a means of management, the stressors and the fact that with exceptions (even though someone in me has issues) the direct manager and a few under her are women of authority which is an issue that stems to my childhood trauma, I realize this is not an excuse, but it is part of the PTSD, yet explaining myself is not going to happen.
Another fear I have is, Upon filing for Short-Term Disability with the company, will they finally learn what my disabilities are despite the fact that they can't rightfully ask directly? I almost don't really care if they choose to terminate me once I go on leave, the question for me to answer here is
WHEN. My concern here though is that me and Ms Sheba are not in an apartment, so moving to a smaller place definitely is not an option. When I realized at the time that she was not an apartment dog, I moved forward with a decision that I had to fight for in ways to overcome. I am writing this as an individual homeowner with PTSD!
At least I know I have a shot with the state in determining what my actually disability status is. I know to a point that I do get an ADA ID card which qualifies me for a reduced rate on bus fare, that ID is stamped permanent.
Most likely, your employers are using tactics to get you to quit. Hang in there if you can. Especially if you are unable to do the work. It is counted as "the inability to give the employers the work standards that are necessary." I hope this helps. Even though I did work, I wasn't able to perform like I did before my breakdowns.
@Confused Wingless I have in ways suspected this recently. My problem is with this is that I can't quit for the wrong reasons. I am half tempted to look at my employee record.
I know for a fact that I'm not the only disabled employee in the company either, yet I am more function and can work more hours than another co-worker who is non-union and works fewer hours in another department.
It was buying this house and approaching my adversary agency (Vocational Rehabilitation) that prompted me, merely forced me into the hell I am in.
Without realizing that the open window could have been what it may have been, I closed it without realizing what the consequences I am facing now, although had I not closed it then, I can't say I would be writing this here now... Many decisions I realize after they've been made do have a purpose moving me forward even through trials and tribulations of fire like I one I am in now.