Disassociation and meditation

[Happy Head]

Today I met with a new therapist who will teach a mindfulness approach to anxiety. When I mentioned to her about my PTSD she asked me if I disassociate. (I do). She said that during longer periods of meditation, those who typically disassociate as a result of PTSD tend to not stay grounded which could trigger something. Has anyone else come across this or have had experience with this?

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi Happy Head!

I have a trauma therapist who specializes in mindfulness, and teaches me how to stay present and grounded as well.
What your T is describing is true - I noticed this in the beginning, and yet I'm practiced in spending long times in contemplative prayer without dissociating. It was easy to then practice mindful meditation, as soon as I practiced and became more proficient at staying present.

One easy tool is just to turn your awareness to how your body is feeling. Just notice. Flashbacks may occur, but both my Ts are teaching me not to get trapped by "the story" behind the flashbacks. if I can't quite manage the flashback without getting caught up in it, then I stop the quiet meditation, get up and physically move, practice getting present and grounded.

I'm really grateful to be working with mindfulness approaches for working through anxiety and other issues. I've noticed an incredible improvement, and am glad to have these developing skills.

I hope you experience good healing with this. If it's too much of an issue (especially in the beginning), it's not the end of the world... it's a very helpful tool for deep healing, but not the only one available.

I wish you good healing, and have hope you and your therapist do wonderfully together!
Warmly,
Deer

 

[kers]

I've found this to be true, and I've also read about the issue. When I first began meditating, I often *thought* I was mediating, but in fact I was simply dissociating. I thought, "meditation is easy!" because all I had to do was zone out and be nothing, and I could do that for AGES.

Being present was much harder, and it's really the opposite of dissociating. As you learn how to do it, I think you will find it very rewarding.

 

[Happy Head]

I've found this to be true, and I've also read about the issue. When I first began meditating, I often *thought* I was mediating, but in fact I was simply dissociating. I thought, "meditation is easy!" because all I had to do was zone out and be nothing, and I could do that for AGES.
.

hehe, I could probably do it for ages too!

Hi Happy Head!

I have a trauma therapist who specializes in mindfulness, and teaches me how to stay present and grounded as well.
What your T is describing is true - I noticed this in the beginning, and yet I'm practiced in spending long times in contemplative prayer without dissociating. It was easy to then practice mindful meditation, as soon as I practiced and became more proficient at staying present.

Thanks! She did mention that I would learn with time but her concern was what hit me the most. I was a little worried when I left for fear that I would end up being triggered midway through. I dissociate when triggered - sometimes environmentall or emotionally. I'm happy that she is aware of it beforehand though so I have some trust in her that it won't get too bad half way through.
Thanks both for your thoughts, I appreciate it and it helps. (I also noticed I spelled dissociation wrong

opps!)

 

[MissMacD]

I had to quit yoga because I dissociated so hardcore during the classes, and it did trigger some really dangerous stuff. I felt at first that yoga was a savior to me, but then learned that it was prodding tender places in my mind. I didn't notice much at first because I have such a high threshold for pain and my dissociation can go on for months. I can literally be trapped in my dissociation for at the longest time I was aware of it over a month.

When I find my groundedness it is often temporary and the weeds of my haunting past grow over the thriving parts of me. I've accepted that yoga has to go on the back burner and I may not be able to do it anymore. As much as I miss it, I recognize that my well being is more important than yoga.

I don't have a trauma therapist yet -- its in the post.