Disclosing To A Co-worker

[NewDayTomorrow]

I'm worried about screwing up a work relationship.

I have a co-worker who once took me to an emergency room for another issue, and took me for an outpatient procedure and looked after me for the day. His wife helped too (she works in another part of the company too).

He did not know I had PTSD. I had a flare up about a month ago, and at the end of one day when it was quiet I went up to him (he sits near me) and what I said was, "I was hoping it would help, if someone at work knew...I used to have PTSD and I thought it was gone but now it's coming back." The first thing he said was "I worry about you," and he said to make sure I talk to my doctor if I am having trouble, and said I needed to eat because he'd noticed I'd skipped lunch. He asked if I'd talk to my supervisor and I told him I would, and that I had an appointment with occupational health, and he seemed satisfied with that.

The other night, when it was quiet, I asked him if he'd be around for a little while, he said he'd be leaving soon, but he'd check on me before he left. So I went over to this little living room area near our desks and just sat there to calm down (my heart was about to run away from me and I needed to dodge an anxiety attack but I didn't say anything about that to him, just asked him to check on me as he was leaving that was all). And he did, he said "If you're ok, I'm about to leave now" and he walked out with me. He didn't ask anything, I guess it was pretty clear that I just wasn't ready to go home and couldn't work anymore either.

My group head at work is a great mentor (different person than this other guy). I finally talked to him about it and he said he'd had anxiety attacks himself, and he said you don't want to bring people to the dark side but you do want to let a few people know you're dealing with something. So it sounds like I haven't done anything wrong. It helps to have someone at work just know this about me, not that I need to have deep dark conversations about it or anything. Just someone that can take me home if I have a bad day at work.

So that first person is on a business trip next week, so I won't be able to stay late with him. My nights are pretty bad, which is why I've been hanging around at work till no one is left. It is hard to get much done in that state but usually I can make a little progress on my projects.

Does anyone have a person like this? I'm worried about screwing up a work relationship. The only other people at work who knew, one is retired already, one is my group head retiring this month, and the last is my supervisor who will retire in a few years. But this guy is going to be around for another ten years so it is very scary to reach out to him. I don't want to seem like a broken person with issues who can't take care of myself.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Well, it could be a tricky situation for you. I detect that there may be a conflict between work issues and privacy issues.

You will have to guard yourself, because if word gets out there may be more people who want to talk about that at your workplace.
I have always kept work issues and private issues totally separate, especially since I learned that sharing a PTSD diagnosis would only work against me.

Your relations to the people that help you may be a little less intense if you can find therapy in your area. I know that often people mix work and private life but in the past I have seen many trip over hazards going that route.

 

[Beemo3780]

I would avoid letting anyone at work knowing your situation and find a good therapist you can talk through things with. I've found that too much information given to coworkers can blow up in your face. I would worry about involving people that I work with in my issues, just because most people don't come to work to babysit people. A person might seem like they care or are being nice, but then might complain to management.

I personally work in a pretty cutthroat tech field, that just being a woman works against me, so I wouldn't want it to seem like I have any sort of handicap. I sometimes have to take medication to make it through the work day.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

Good points. I do have a therapist. I might be lucky that my group head encouraged me to share just a little and gave very good advice. Sounds like I do have reason to be careful, and not let it blow up in my face. And I do not expect anyone to babysit me.

It sounds like people have had bad experiences from word getting out. Right now there are only two people who know just a little, and one is my supervisor. It might be a slippery slope so I will put the brakes on. Might be best to let it go. Thanks for the cautionary advice. I was worried. Hopefully I didn't screw up yet.