Dissociating After Emdr?

[Namenotdiagnosis]

I agree with joeylittle . I did lots of research before I chose my T because it was important that they specialised in CPTSD and I needed to feel confident with her. I did check out all her qualifications etc, but that's because I have trust issues, not sure that everyone would do that lol .
My t did explain how I would feel and everything she said I would I did experience.
My flashbacks were worse and disaccoation , and I seemed to have been consumed with anxiety , I was absolutely shocked that I was paying not only to relive my traumas but to be suffering like this.

But for me personally it did start getting better the more I processed, I had 12 , 2 hour sessions in total , and At the. Moment I'm doing well. But I'm sure you know this could change anytime!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The truth is that there is a risk of dissociation no matter what type of processing you do. I had tried so many at one point that I was dead set on never processing my trauma because nobody could work with me and give me the skills needed so that I would not dissociate. (And this was pretty severe dissociation for me given that most of the time I don't have dissociation issues.) Then I found an alternative sort of processing which focused on keeping me grounded throughout the entire process, and I was finally able to deal with my trauma.

So no, its not necessarily *you* or that you have more problems because you are dissociating. Dissociation is a brain tool that keeps us safe. Perhaps your mind didn't feel safe and tried to protect you?

 

[user27357]

I started feeling like my sessions were just a big spin on the emotional wheel of fortune. I remember being so triggererd I stood up without knowing I had and scared the b'snot out of my T. And crying- The last time I had a major opening up of the ducts was in EMDR, several times. I remember feeling like I shouldn't be driving because my mind was flashing through about twenty years of history and processing it with the new remembrance I had just realised.

It was like I had memories of the things that happened, the when, the how, the persons involved and in some cases my opinions on the subject develoiped over the 40 myears since they happened- and then WAM! I had full emotional memory of the event and it was like all the time spent trying to sort it out had to be re approached with a 50 year old mind instead of the 12 year old mind that had set the patterns I had followed since the events.

That a lot, and I was definitely bumfuzzled for awhile, still am to a degree.

It became like showing up and spinning the wheel and hoping I wouldn't be leaving the session so triggered I couldn'y find the door, hoping I would find the forgotten key to the doors I shurt so long ago, hoping I wouldn't find myself running screaming from the room.

 

[katiekat]

I'm updating this thread because I went to see my therapist tonight since my first EMDR session. I told her what happened and about how I thought of self harm. I told her I wasn't sure what I was supposed to get out of the EMDR. She said she doesn't want to continue EMDR because I "don't believe in it" which I think was a false statement. There's more to our conversation than that but basically that is a summary of it.

I feel disappointed and even a little sad. I don't know if she is trying to figure out what she can do to help me or if this is a dead end. I really like her but I'm afraid she won't have any idea how to help me. :/

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Ohhhh that's not very helpful katiekat I think that's a real cop out from your T. Surely she's suppose to give you more insight into EMDR and why she feels it will benefit you? It's not about believing in it it's about understanding it, and learning how it will help. And that's up to your T to explain all hhis to you .
When I went to my T and said I was really unsure about and I hated the so called aftermath of EMDR she explained it all to me again , and reassured me that then effects I was feeling after the session was normal . I just feel really sad for you because I know how EMDR helped and is one if he best forms of treatment for PTSD sufferers. Have you tried brain spotting? That's a little less intense, that's what my T alternated with me when EMDR was soo intense. Don't give up, good luck x

 

[user27357]

I used to work with a guy that used his framing hammer for everything on the job. Cabinet work, roofing, siding, drywall, all of it, he was good with it and he did good work with it. I only trusted myself with my framer when I was sinking the big nails in the 2x4's and beams during the rough framing of the project. After that I went to the specialised tools with favorites for every diverse use encountered.

To me, EMDR is the five pound sledge of therapy. in the wrong hands it can knock you into next tuesday, in the proper hands it can pound out tiffany cuff links. If the T says it's too much, it's too much. Use the smaller hammers, especially since they are there and especially since the T knows if their skills are more in line with my carpentry skils and not to the par of my coworker and his one tool pounds all approach.

 

[Eagle3]

I had my first EMDR session today. Its good to know why I feel so tired now, but I'm sort of dreading going to sleep. Sleep is always a major problem, and my unconscious mind can be a real meany when memories of that time are so fresh. The T is awesome and he promised he would go slowly, but he's training an intern on me, so its going to be interesting to see how the other sessions go. On a good note, I was able to confront my MA instructor about how he triggered me in class and get an apology from him (which is next to impossible!), without crying like a baby. I guess something I'm doing in therapy is working...

 

[Ivanna]

Had my first EMDR session Tuesday and I'm not sure what I was to expect after, but I have a feeling I'm...

Hi,

I had EMDR last year and I had your symptoms for about 12 weeks Cter it finished. But they started after my 2nd session. Plus everything looked distorted. Such as pictures on walls looked crooked. And it felt like I was walking around on marshmallows. Sometimes when I get very stressed it happens but only very mildly. My PTSD symptoms have more or less gone completely and this therapy has changed my life