Dissociation, What Are Examples?

[ms spock]

I dissociate a lot...really happy like on drugs...I worry about my future a lot because i have no friends i knew no one because all my friends went to different schools.

Dear Megan,

I would suggest that you give the drugs a miss, if you can. It is hard to work out disassociation without
another level of complexity.

So all your friends went to different schools, that must have been hard but it does show that you did have friends and you can make friends. That is something to put on your "List of things to remember when I am down or disassociated."

You are being very hard on yourself.

 

[ms spock]

I was doing that with tv shows and pretending to be someone else but more in age because I liked x-files/7th haven/ncis. it would help go to bed. I would still concentrate on school, and stuff but when I was alone, i would go for walks where I would pretend since I didn't know what to think about.

All the shattered bits of me feel for you.

I, too, have lived within television programs (occasionally Star Trek ;-D )

The human organism finds ways to deal with trauma. This is one of those ways.

There is a continuum of how these things work (so my psychiatrist tells me) and you have to find your way at which point of the continuum you are at and work from there - though I have a gold medal for punching my self in my own face for long periods of time - so I have robust scientific data (based on a study of one admittedly) that this has never really helped me.

It takes a while to get on top of these things (well for me anyway) and being kind to yourself one minute per day and build up to one minute per hour could be an option.

 

[ms spock]

now i just don't have a clue what's going on with my mind.

Megan,

I am so with you there, step for step.

 

[ms spock]

i would go for walks where I would pretend since I didn't know what to think about.

So this is interesting. You didn't know what to think. There seems to be a lot there in that one sentence from my (highly non expert opinion).

 

[ms spock]

i have tried to meet new people but i always felt years younger than i am...like mature wise. I always liked adults better when i was in high school as friends.

You could be writing about my experiences - I felt the same. I always got on much better with adults than my peers. I recently made new friends at TAFE with two other students with disabilities - one asked me if I had acceptance issues at school - I went "Hell Yeah!"

Meeting new people is usually easier when you are doing, learning or finding out things (*please insert something that is relevant to you* joining forums on birds, star trek, ptsd, science, building computers, birds etc etc and learning things like building models, learning to identify birds, learning to dance, hanging out with the stamp collectors, doing bush care, learning a new craft or hobby, bush walking, disco dancing, belly dancing, building starship enterprises, practicing your Klingon, painting, drawing, beginner's classes are always good because you are not alone in not knowing anything.)Sometimes there are get togethers for those of us who are have trouble connecting with other people. I used to run a few and I got a lot of feedback that they were not only helpful but people made long term friends. I know this might seem lame but I joined up at disabilities at one of the places I study and I have made a few new friends - and there is no need to explain anything.

Remember that there are a hell of a lot of people out there that feel the same as us. So one strategy can be to go and talk to someone standing on their own - even about the weather is okay. It is all about connection, not so much about content.

 

[Tinyflame]

I walk sometimes to stop thinking, and find if you can repeat or read (at the same time) something simple it helps.

I am sure dissociation has a continuum, but for me it's not a 'choice'- the very worst times it's almost like a black out of memories or information. Or just a ~phasing out where my body has taken off ('flight') without my permission or ability to 'think'- just 'rawness' (feelings).

Mindfulness helps, sleep, preparation, rest, exercise, distraction, support vs self-blame.

 

[ms spock]

But i just feel inadequate because I still like cartoons/computer games (such as neopets).

I refer you to the series "Buffy" so you can adjust your attitude accordingly. Nerds are cool! Nerds rule the world!

Don't you forget it young lady! Obviously we need to catch you up with some of the
situations of this world regarding the most amazing people in the universe! Us Nerds!

 

[ms spock]

but for me it's not a 'choice'- the very worst times it's almost like a black out of memories or information. Or just a ~phasing out where my body has taken off ('flight') without my permission or ability to 'think'- just 'rawness' (feelings).

I have no choice either at this time.

 

[ms spock]

support vs self-blame.

Now Megan,

you listen to the Junebug! She is on the money!

 

[ms spock]

i never had sex.

I did but I space out and disassociated.

don't know how a 25 year SHOULD act and what is normal. :(.

I am 42 and still faking it until I make it!

I just feel like i'm an outcast in the world.

Personally I would like this emotion legislated out of existence.
Oh I so relate.

This summer i went to my cousin's wedding and danced with the groom for a dance. It felt awkward because I was in one of my "high moments" and didn't know what to talk to him about so i just kept saying that the dvd should be done before christmas," in like a joking matter. It was so awkward.

What we experience as awkward is not always experienced that way by other people. He may have simply enjoyed the dance.

 

[ms spock]

What I have typed Megan,

May not be of any help atall so please take the intent of connection, kindness, and reaching out that I typed it with.

It feels like i dissociate a lot like 24/7.

This is the biggie for me in my ptsd and I am working on that daily to move ahead.

ox
ms spock

 

[ms spock]

I just feel like i never grew up mentally because of all the bullying i endured. I missed out on a lot of things.

The grief of it all is part of the package deal of recovering I have found. It is hard. I cry sometimes.
I feel sad. And trying to catch up on skills most five years (from half decent families have obtained) is
challenging and difficult.

I think it is worth it.

I am hoping that we will be able to assist the next generation.