Distancing Yourself From Family & Friends. Anyone Else Do This? Why?

[Abrasky]

Sure. Clare Weekes has a book called Self Help for your Nerves. She was a doctor that suffered from debilitating panic attacks and decided to write a book about how to cope with them.

The basic principle in the book is to float, probably not unlike cognitive behavior therapy. But rather than giving positive statements as in cognitive behavior therapy, she focusses on accepting the feelings of fear and sitting on a cloud and passing over them.

It helped me a little bit early on in my PTSD before I had done psycodynamic therapy. The book with some antideppressants enabled me to do lots of volunteering, so it was very useful.

 

[WonderingWhy]

I appreciate the information. I will see if I can locate her book and at least skim it and possibly read it.:rolleyes: Thank You:)

 

[KAT]

I can relate to everyone in this thread. :) Most of the time I love being by myself, no pressure when I by myself.

 

[cherryblossom]

I have been 'told off' by my GP this week for 'isolating' myself. It's just so much easier to be home alone, than deal with other people. Plus I've pushed most of my friends away, so that makes it hard. Also, the more you isolate yourself, the less conversation you have, so that makes meeting socially even harder. Because I worry that I won't have anything to say. So it's a viscous cycle, that is hard to break. My self confidence/ self esteem/ self worth are pretty damn low. That makes my anxiety worse, which makes socialising even harder. :banghead:

We need to work out a solution :thinking:

 

[WonderingWhy]

CB,
Why does everything have to be sooo hard?:scream: It is funny how hearing that others have similar difficulties, somehow helps.:thinking: I am a bit confused by this. I know it's NOT because I am happy others suffer as I do.:no:

The only thing I can think of, is that maybe it gives us some sort of "validation" in knowing maybe just maybe, I'm not completely crazy, weak, insane, stupid, etc. Give it whatever name you want. It's like if there is someone else besides myself it must be somewhat normal. Like the saying I have heard SOOOOOOO many times and honestly it bothers me. "That's a normal reaction to an abnormal event" :stomp: That bothers me, I'm not really sure why. It might just be that the only time I hear it, is when it is surrounding difficult discussions. Or maybe I am just really weird!:thinking:

 

[cherryblossom]

WW, I think it's definitely a normal reaction to an abnormal event. But it's also in some cases, just a normal thing. I have recently made a lovely friend who totally 'gets' me, with regards to depression, and isolation. I don't know her story, and she doesn't know mine. But when it comes to difficulties going out and socialising; we have discussed this and we are totally on the same wave length. She's currently in a better place than me, so she's been literally forcing me out, but also offering me a 'get-out' clause if I need it. If our roles ever reverse (I hope for her that they don't), but I hope I would be in a position to offer her the same.

As to why everything needs to be so hard, I don't know? Some with a religious view may say that god is making us stronger. I'm not religious, but despite my setbacks, I think I'm gradually getting stronger. I also know for a fact that I have helped people on PTSD forum, and also hopefully here. If I hadn't been raped, I wouldn't be here, working through my stuff, and hopefully helping others along the way. So, maybe, however hard it gets, there is a reason for everything. I don't know?

 

[Lucycat]

I too have been isolating more recently.
It is so tough. I feel bad. I look bad. My face is just dreadful with spots etc. I am ashamed and embarrased to be seen. I can't stop crying long enough to hold a conversation.

I don't want to meet people, how does getting sick mean that I should now start doing stuff that I don't want to do?

 

[blogitout]

hey there
I am so with ya
I did not relize what I was doing all these years.Everthing was my normal,pushing people out,and keeping myself in.
I am learning now to take everything face on. I am not happy with this at all,but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.
But for now I put my family aside and for the first time I was able to tell them why,and they of course had there opinion,blaa blaa blaa..but I stood strong and said I need this time to heal,and they are triggers and I can not have them aroudn and maybe some time soon they can be more in my life..I had to,I guess they deserved the reason instead of just being ignored.
in a year I have had few emails with my family and my mother saw me for a seperate christmas with our kids.
and now our child is having a bday she asked for us to by my grams and absolutly not down the street from her is where it happened,so I suggested here in my home my turf and do I want to NO every fiber says no and wants to run run run...but that is not good...
Ok sorry for that babble
I just hope hearing what I am in helps others...it has helped me to just get it out.;)

 

[WonderingWhy]

Thank you all. I think just knowing someone, else just understands helps.

 

[fairydust]

I feel like I isolate myself in my mind but I am so scared of actually being alone. I hate the evenings when I am forced to be at home by myself because the kids are in bed sleeping and too young to be left at home. I feel trapped even though part of me wants to hide away from everything, I know that if I spend too much time alone then I slip into high anxiety and depression really quickly. Makes no sense really!

 

[Nyx]

It does make sense, fairydust. I often feel the same way you do - wanting to isolate myself but at the same time being afraid to do so... It's like with relationships... After being sexually abused, you don't want to be in a relationship, scares the crap out of you, but still you don't want to be alone. And that's normal. We are not made to be alone, otherwise we would all be hermaphrodites.

I have started to like being alone, isolating myself. I only fear it when I have suicidal tendencies.

 

[Lucycat]

We are not made to be alone, otherwise we would all be hermaphrodites.

I'd never thought of that! Thanks Nyx, I will remember that one when I am feeling down.