Distancing Yourself From Family & Friends. Anyone Else Do This? Why?

[Howard Beal]

It doesn't have to take 2-3 years. It could take less. If you set your expectations to 2-3 years, it's probable it will.

In the mean time, it's good you're looking for alternatives at least.

alternatives? Maybe? I am here for now. But keep in mind all this is new to me. I have spent years drinking away my fears. Facing reality sober is new to me. Oh god the flashbacks, the dreams of the past is hard to deal with right now.

 

[Nyx]

There's no easy way out. That's fact. But hiding from it will not make it go away either. Another fact. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, believe me I know what it's like. But, as my T keeps telling me, the longer you postpone it, the longer it takes to heal.

Yes, that's what I meant by looking for alternatives, you being here. It's a step. And you should be proud of that.

But it is about expectations. You set time boundaries before even exploring that option. And you don't even give credit to the professional that they could handle it. Look for someone who's an expert on trauma, and they will handle it. They are trained to handle it and on top of it to help YOU handle it too. Try it. You are worth the trouble.

 

[Howard Beal]

I think that you are right Nyx. I certainly got the qualifications for seeing a t. Now I have to get up the courage, To look for one, I wonder if a female dr can help a guy because of the issues I have w/ men? It would be nice to get rid of the flashbacks. And the dreams.

 

[cherryblossom]

I wonder if a female dr can help a guy because of the issues I have w/ men?

I see no reason why a female therapist wouldn't be able to help you. Many female survivors here have great help from their male therapists. My therapist is female, who only deals with sexual abuse/assault because she works solely for a sexual abuse charity. But I know for a fact that she has male clients.

My medical Doctor is male, and I've seen both male and female psychiatrists. If you feel you would be more comfortable seeing a female, then go down that route, but I would say that it's more about the therapeutic relationship you both build up, than whether they are male or female. Perhaps seeing a male doctor/therapist, would actually help you overcome your issues with men?

 

[pi314159]

My boyfriend keeps getting upset with me for cutting him out of my life. I just want to be alone and I don't mean to hurt him. It's so much easier to deal with everything when you're alone curled up in bed.

 

[Nyx]

How about not cutting him out but setting some rules? Like telling him when you need your space and asking him to give it even when he's hanging around. Do you live together? I live with my boyfriend and have set these type of rules, so he knows when to leave me alone even if we're in the same room, and let me do my thing, and most importantly he knows it's nothing personal. This is of critical importance: for him to understand it is nothing personal. It took my boyfriend a while to understand, but he got there eventually...

 

[Alley87]

Sometimes it is really hard to break out of it. It almost feels like the whole world is against you. and the people you love don't know you exist anymore because you don't see them. Then to top it off, you may go through a string of stress which will then make you withdraw into yourself even more because you have no-one there to confide in!

I am 24, and I am still going through isolation!. I have been this way since 19/20! I am a child of 3 sister's, me being the youngest. My mother was not a very fit mother. We all got kicked out of home when we were teenagers for no good reason, so having to find my own place and enroll myself back into school was very emotionally draining. People will invite me out ask me to join in their activities, but I always say no because I honestly just didn't have the energy. I would rather be in the comfort of my own home watching movies. One thing about me is that even through out school my family have always walked all over me. I find myself to be very sensitive as well so they played on that.To me, life gets lonely but it is a lot better than being put down by people. My current boyfriend calls me names because I don't go out. So I try to isolate myself from him as well. It is a bit hard because we live together. I have told him to leave because I don't need his stress.

So in conclusion, a lot of people isolate themselves for different reasons. Don't NOT see anyone But eliminate all the people in your life who tell you there is something wrong with you or its not normal! Because that will not help you at all! It will Just make the matter worse. You already know it is bad. You need to come out in your own time.

All the best.
< Grammar and paragraphing edited by Brucielucy>

 

[Lucille]

I distance myself from friends largely because I get angered very easily and because I feel scared. I just don't find it fun to go out at night because I'm always worried something bad will happen. I have a short temper with friends who drink too much because they're annoying when drunk or on some level I worry they will hurt me.

Also, relationships are hard because I can barely take care of myself... let alone meet the other person half way by caring about them and their feelings too. :(

 

[Nyx]

I have distanced myself very much from everyone lately. My boyfriend frowns upon it but doesn't have much of a say in it. It is really hard for me to interact with people at the time, I feel like I'm walking on broken glass every time I collide with other persons. If I could live in a glass bubble I would be the happiest person alive.

It seems to be a cycle of some kind. First my birthday, then come the holidays, it just seems that celebrations depress me. And I hate the attention. On my birthday I just hid inside the house, I didn't even go to work. I wonder if I should do something about it or just go with the flow...