Distraction Vs Avoidance

[joeylittle]

I guess really it comes down to awareness

I think that's the basic idea. Because if something is done with awareness and purpose, then by default - you're doing it mindfully, which means you aren't avoiding (as in trying to close your eyes entirely to a situation).

 

[rosey]

I think that's the basic idea. Because if something is done with awareness and purpose, then by def...

Would be nice to be able to close eyes entirely even for a day my mind doesnt let off.

 

[joeylittle]

Hearing you.

 

[Poofycat]

For myself, I find that I avoid or distract myself from feelings (assuming we're talking about feelings, or thoughts that bring up unwanted feelings) because there is so much fear involved. Even with (maybe especially with?) happy feelings. It's so much easier to just stay numb even though that's actually not possible, and definitely not easier in the long run.

Lately I've started the first couple steps of the emotional regulation process of realizing that I am in face experiencing a feeling, trying to identify that feeling, then approaching the feeling with empathy instead of fear. For instance, I've been feeling massive amounts of anxiety the past few days which has made me feel so scattered and frustrated. Last night I sat down and thought "Ok, I recognize that I'm feeling a lot of anxiety right now. My body feels very tense and I notice that I'm taking shallow breaths." Even recognizing this allowed me to take deep breaths which lessened the anxiety. Next I thought "I'm going to try to approach this anxiety with empathy instead of judging it and being frustrated with it." I don't actually know HOW to approach a feeling with empathy, but for some reason just thinking this worked, and I was able to see that this anxiety was actually masking a deep sadness that threatens to overwhelm me.

This is as far as I can get right now with this issue, but even taking these steps, approaching myself with empathy instead of judgement and frustration has lessened the anxiety I've been feeling and my thoughts are less scattered. And it took about 2 minutes tops and wasn't particularly difficult. Maybe you can try a similar approach with the thoughts you're having to see if it helps you make sense of things.