mumstheword
MyPTSD Pro
To me it's a LOT about learning to trust yourself.
I developed a strong fawn response as a result of my childhood trauma and for a long time this lead me to more exploitation and abuse.
I had to start to treat myself how I wanted to be treated instead of giving all my energy to other's in a "don't hurt me! what is it you want? I'll-give- you-anything-if-you-don't-hurt me!" kinda way.
So working on one's trauma response and developing that frontal lobe critical thinking became a way for me to learn to trust my own ability of discerning.
I haven't figured it all out, by a long shot, being on the spectrum adds another layer of complexity for me, I believe, so it's a long process of learning how people are, and adjusting accordingly, but keeping on practising putting my wellbeing first as a priority, rather than trying to appease other people in a fawny way.
Pete Walker's book was an eye opener for learning about my own particular trauma responses; Identifying those responses has been vital in figuring out how I could develop behaviours to keep myself safe, instead of my typical fawn first ask questions later type pattern.
My trustworthy person, my SO, pulls me up for fawning, especially when I do it to my own children, because, in reality, I avoid just about everyone else, as that's as far as my hypervigilance and freeze/hide (my other dominant trauma response) allows me to be open to other's.
I still don't trust myself to have very good boundaries, on the whole, so mine are fortress-like, in an attempt to balance out, as they were non existent for many, many years.
I developed a strong fawn response as a result of my childhood trauma and for a long time this lead me to more exploitation and abuse.
I had to start to treat myself how I wanted to be treated instead of giving all my energy to other's in a "don't hurt me! what is it you want? I'll-give- you-anything-if-you-don't-hurt me!" kinda way.
So working on one's trauma response and developing that frontal lobe critical thinking became a way for me to learn to trust my own ability of discerning.
I haven't figured it all out, by a long shot, being on the spectrum adds another layer of complexity for me, I believe, so it's a long process of learning how people are, and adjusting accordingly, but keeping on practising putting my wellbeing first as a priority, rather than trying to appease other people in a fawny way.
Pete Walker's book was an eye opener for learning about my own particular trauma responses; Identifying those responses has been vital in figuring out how I could develop behaviours to keep myself safe, instead of my typical fawn first ask questions later type pattern.
My trustworthy person, my SO, pulls me up for fawning, especially when I do it to my own children, because, in reality, I avoid just about everyone else, as that's as far as my hypervigilance and freeze/hide (my other dominant trauma response) allows me to be open to other's.
I still don't trust myself to have very good boundaries, on the whole, so mine are fortress-like, in an attempt to balance out, as they were non existent for many, many years.