Do Flashbacks Ever Feel Like Waking Up After The Fear Has Eased Off?

[Srain]

I've found myself listening to music that I have completely and frantically avoided for years. My husband is beside himself seeing as it's his favorite music era. I've also gotten casually and shockingly involved with a college team this year from the very town I had the beginnings of my last set of flashbacks due to my Son's family without much thought, even though I refused to in the past. They were shocked. I use to freak out when any college sports game was on the television; and my husband learned early on that the music and college sports issue was no joke for me. But now I'm enjoying them both.

Today I looked in the mirror and I recognized myself for the first time in years. I've seen parts of me here and there but mostly I have felt lost and alone. Today I saw it in my eyes. It was like a homecoming, I can't explain it. Has this ever happened to anyone?

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Rain, this is fantastic!!!

Welcome Home! (Hair is standing up on my arms)
How incredibly wonderful!

 

[Srain]

Thank you Deer :). How nice of you to share my moment, I so appreciate that.

What an odd thing to have happen. The full feeling comes and goes but yesterday was a kind of head on effect. I just got use to studying myself through pictures, wondering if I was in there, and only looking at myself in pieces through the mirrors. It was weird to find out the music I love so much is ancient lol. But odder still, I was so so young. I never realized just how young I really was because I never felt young in my life.

Whatever it is, I'm grateful for a perk in a slow in the tide of unbearable pain and wave of nonstop flashbacks that had revved up more than ever that I can recall.