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Do I Have Ptsd? If So How Can I Get Help?

  • Post starter Post starter Anon84568
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Anon84568

I have been suffering from something all my life but only recently I think I am starting to understand what the problem is. However so far all my emails to counselors and referral services have been ignored and I don't know why. Because of my social anxiety I am not able to ring around and hunt down someone - reaching out online is hard enough as it is.

I really need to talk to someone who can help me.

Any opinions, advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

BTW I live in Australia.

Thank you!
 
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I've been trying for over a month, but only hours after starting this thread I get a response to one of my emails, from a clinical psychologist in my area who claims to have relevant experience. I have an appointment in 2 weeks.

Nevertheless I would still greatly appreciate any feedback that anyone cares to offer.
 
What sort of things do you say in your emails to counsellors and referral services?

Have you tried going through a doctor?
 
At first I tried to give as much information as possible to help the referral services refer me to something relevant, or for the counsellor to decide if they had the relevant experience to help me.

Note: In my experience many counsellors think they can treat a problem but when it comes down to it they don't have a clue about it, so I tried to be very clear and detailed about my situation.

Over time I have been providing less and less information. Stripping away the details and simply giving a short list of the types of issues that need to be addressed and the type of context within which those issues arose. Here is an example of one of those emails:

Hello,

I need help to deal with the issues of:

Life long chronic low self-esteem / intrinsic worthlessness.
Life long chronic post-traumatic stress disorder and ongoing trauma.
Life long chronic social anxiety disorder / fear and distrust of most aspects of society.

The root cause of these is growing up amidst pervasive racist and authoritarian abuse, followed by decades of isolation, alienation, neglect and being misunderstood and harassed.

Please help!

However the email that succeeded in getting a response provided the least information of all. It said:

Hello,

I need help to deal with the issues of low self-esteem, post-traumatic stress disorder and social anxiety disorder.

Please help!

I suspect that the less I say and the less they know about my situation the more likely it is that they can fit me into their assumptions and expectations. As I say on my blog:

A victim of a dysfunctional and abusive society who has developed a crippling fear and distrust of society will not be recognised by society and helped by society. Because society will not accept that it can be dysfunctional and abusive. It will not recognise that such victims can exist. It will rather assume that I am a liar. I suspect that this is why every time that I have sought help I have been ignored and have not even received a reply to my emails.
 
BTW, thanks Hashi for responding.

Re: "Have you tried going through a doctor?"

Several times in the past. Although every time they would listen for a minute or two, then cut me off and write a prescription for an SSRI. It was obvious that they had no idea about my issues and were just acting on assumptions, that they were trying to process as many people as quickly as possible and that they were probably just filling a quota in order to get a kick-back from some pharmaceutical company. I never took any of their medicine because I had no reason to think that it was relevant to my problems and I have known many people who seriously regretted having trusted their doctor in regards to SSRI's. I have very little trust in doctors and I haven't been to a doctor in years.
 
It's good that you have found a counselor to see you. I think it may benefit you to write down the specific things that bother you and how your problems are effecting your life.
 
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head with writing a much shorter email with less detail, but I can't agree with the conclusion you're drawing from that. I can't speak for the counsellors or referral services you've contacted so far. I'm not them and I don't know exactly what's happened when you've contacted them. So this is only my own impression and thoughts.

I wonder if you might be falling into black and white thinking - perceiving everyone to act the same way, or that you always get a particular type of response, even though there are variations. That strikes me about the quote from your blog, where you're talking about "society" refusing to acknowledge your situation. However, there are many individuals in society and if you look at the posts on myptsd.com alone, you'll see the potential within "society" for support for people who have been abused and victimised. We don't find it everywhere, but we can find it in places - amongst supporters, therapists, fellow sufferers and others.

In your first post you say

all my emails to counselors and referral services have been ignored

and then later you say:

In my experience many counsellors think they can treat a problem but when it comes down to it they don't have a clue about it

I'm not clear how you've experienced this if all emails to counsellors have been ignored.

At any rate, I think if you have a mindset that society won't help you and therapists will ignore you and/or misrepresent their capabilities, then you're unlikely to have a good experience of looking for help. Whether consciously or unconsciously, you're likely to be giving off signals that may be defensive, hostile, uncooperative, inconsistent or unrealistic. The people you interact with will inevitably pick up on those and might - consciously or unconsciously - shape their response to you accordingly. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, say I believe that wherever I work the people don't like me. With that belief I start a new job. Whenever someone is friendly towards me I'm suspicious of their motives. I know that people don't like me, so I think they're being fake or even manipulative. I'm guarded and quiet around them. They see and feel my reluctance to be friendly. They stop trying to chat to me. I notice that no-one chats to me but they all chat with each other. I decide I was right - people at work don't like me.

My suggestion for approaching potential therapists - if you still want to after seeing the person you have an appointment with - would be to write a little differently. I would briefly state the symptoms I want help with, or the type of experience which is affecting me. By listing conditions, you seem to be self-diagnosing (with PTSD at least, you are stating that without a diagnosis). You may not be assessing this accurately, and you may be creating a barrier to getting support because of your own assumptions.

I would indicate that I wanted support and guidance for me to work through issues, rather than asking them to help me (which could give the impression that you want them to fix you). I would be relating the email to their type of approach and asking them questions rather than telling them things. I wouldn't go into much detail at all in a first email. I found psychotherapy through a different route, but I emailed somatic therapists when I was looking for one. As an example I just looked at what I said and it was along the lines of:

I'm interested in having craniosacral therapy. I saw from your website that you treat clients for trauma. I wondered if that included treating people who have experienced trauma as an adult, because this is my situation. I'm looking for a therapist who has trained and practised in this area. If you have, would it be possible for me to ring you to find out more about your approach and see whether we feel we could work together?

If you find the idea of an initial phone discussion too difficult, you could explain that and ask if it's possible to talk further by email.

For me, the next discussion is about me trying to find out about them. What training and experience do they have, what therapies do they practise, have they worked with clients who have experienced X, if so could they tell me a little about how they approached that, what do they do to keep things safe, how do they approach dissociation, etc etc.

The questions about safety, dissociation etc are to get past the statement of them being a trauma therapist and testing out what that actually means when they work with clients. If I used the time to tell them my history or diagnoses/self-diagnoses, then I wouldn't get enough sense of their skills, experience and approach to be able to judge whether it was worth having some trial sessions with them.

I'd suggest this sort of approach for the psychologist you have an appointment with. I hope that goes well but if not then I'd keep looking rather than settling simply because you got a response. Good luck.
 
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Hashi,

Re: "For me, the next discussion is about me trying to find out about them. What training and experience do they have, what therapies do they practise, have they worked with clients who have experienced X, if so could they tell me a little about how they approached that, what do they do to keep things safe, how do they approach dissociation, etc etc. The questions about safety, dissociation etc are to get past the statement of them being a trauma therapist and testing out what that actually means when they work with clients. If I used the time to tell them my history or diagnoses/self-diagnoses, then I wouldn't get enough sense of their skills, experience and approach to be able to judge whether it was worth having some trial sessions with them."

Thank you - that bit was helpful :)

Regarding the rest of your response, why are you twisting my words and being so argumentative?

Re: "perceiving... that you always get a particular type of response, even though there are variations."

Every response to an email with any information about my situation has been silence. So where is the variation?

Re: "I'm not clear how you've experienced this if all emails to counsellors have been ignored."

Because over the past 30 years I *have* spoken to counsellors, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists - none of whom were able to understand me - most likely because my problem prevents me from adequately expressing myself. However over the past 6 weeks (in which I have been sending out emails) I have not received any responses to any emails that provided any information. The only email that received a response contained virtually no information. So why do you reject my inference from this? On what logical basis?

Re: "I think if you have a mindset that society won't help you and therapists will ignore you and/or misrepresent their capabilities, then you're unlikely to have a good experience of looking for help."

Obviously - I said the same thing. That mindset is an integral part of my problem for which I am seeking help. You are telling me that given that mindset I will not find help. I agree and said the same thing. So the question remains - given that one has that mindset - how can one find help????????

Re: "For example, say I believe that wherever I work the people don't like me. With that belief I start a new job. Whenever someone is friendly towards me I'm suspicious of their motives. I know that people don't like me, so I think they're being fake or even manipulative. I'm guarded and quiet around them. They see and feel my reluctance to be friendly. They stop trying to chat to me. I notice that no-one chats to me but they all chat with each other. I decide I was right - people at work don't like me."

Yes! I have that exact same problem in regards to virtually all human interactions (except asynchronous text). I have not denied this - in fact I have been very explicit about describing this. So what you are telling me is that I need to overcome my problem before I will be able to get any help for my problem. That is also my assessment and that is why I feel that I am unable to get help via the normal channels - which is why I am asking for help via alternative channels.

Re: "By listing conditions, you seem to be self-diagnosing (with PTSD at least, you are stating that without a diagnosis). You may not be assessing this accurately, and you may be creating a barrier to getting support because of your own assumptions."

This is the first time that I have tried such an approach. Every other time I sought help I had no self-diagnosis and those that I spoke to weren't able to diagnose me either. That is why I have been forced to resort to self-diagnosis. If counsellors are unable to diagnose me on their own and unwilling to accept guidance in diagnosing me then how is a diagnosis to be found???

Re: "I would indicate that I wanted support and guidance for me to work through issues, rather than asking them to help me (which could give the impression that you want them to fix you)."

Whether we call it "support and guidance" or "help" what is the difference? Are you thinking straight? Or just looking for things to argue against?

Re: "I saw from your website that you treat clients for trauma. I wondered if that included treating people who have experienced trauma as an adult, because this is my situation."

You just self-diagnosed yourself as an adult suffer of trauma - but before you were saying that self-diagnosis was wrong...

Re: "If you find the idea of an initial phone discussion too difficult, you could explain that and ask if it's possible to talk further by email."

I have done that in the past - at which point they suggested skype and when I explained that that was a problem and that email was better they stopped responding.


Re: "I wonder if you might be falling into black and white thinking - perceiving everyone to act the same way"

Point taken - however in my experience everyone in a secure position within society is disposed to think favourably of society - whereas those who have been downtrodden by society are disposed to think negatively of society. I have yet to meet a counsellor who is downtrodden by society - or who could genuinely understand those who are downtrodden by society. I'm sure they do exist - but how do I find them?


Regarding what we are both saying - i.e. because of my problem I am unable to effectively get help for my problem... The following might sail over some peoples heads, but nevertheless it is VERY relevant: consider the issue of a differend:

A differend is a form of subtle and invisible oppression, which most people don't even realise exists, except those who suffer from it.

This phenomenon was first examined within the context of a post-modern analysis of the judicial system, however it applies in countless other situations including every-day human interactions.

“Lyotard defines the silencing of victims, with its consequent effacement of the violence done to them… A damage occurs when one being is harmed by another. Many kinds of damage may be litigated against, taken to court, proven, and compensated for. But sometimes a damage cannot be expressed, whether because the being who undergoes the damage is unable to speak in a language to which the judges will listen (as in the case of animals, children, the mentally ill, the dead), or because the judges are the ones who have done the damage, whether directly or through affiliation, or because the testimony of the one damaged is deprived of authority for whatever reason. Such a scenario is called a differend, and the person who suffers from both a damage and a loss of the ability to prove it is a victim…” URL omitted because of forum policies.



Sorry if I too seem argumentative - but I am trying to find *relevant* advice, not just people repeating what I have already said and packaging it as a counter argument.
 
It seems pretty clear that Hashi hasn't bothered to look at the blog that I linked to. That blog is the core of what I had to say - I didn't provide the link as just an aside.

If you haven't bothered to at least skim the blog and get some idea of what my situation is then please don't bother to respond here.

I am tired of people who cannot listen and just make a bunch of assumptions and project a bunch of inappropriate expectations.

If you take the time to get some idea of my situation and you think you have something relevant to say then I would LOVE to hear from you!
 
Please be careful about promoting your own Blog Anon84568, as this it against forum rules.

As I can see from your first post, your blog reference was edited out by Anthony the forum administrator.
 
Obviously - I said the same thing. That mindset is an integral part of my problem for which I am seeking help.

It wasn't obvious to me, and I still don't see that you said it in your posts above mine. I see the opposite - the black and white statements, including the quote from your own blog. Which you seem to be making once again, directed at me.

I honestly didn't mean to offend or upset you. At the same time, I don't think my response justifies what you've written.

Clearly my posting here isn't helping you so I'll bow out and wish you well.
 
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