Do Men "need" Sex, If So, Why?

[katz]

I'm not sure men "have" to have sex. I think there is for many men a connection between sex...

Thank you sooooo much for saying what you did. I've been reading this thread and trying to understand my own "situation" at home. Your comment helped me to understand some of what I'm feeling.

 

[Hooper]

That comment was dead on the money for me as well. She put in words what I didn't understand or know about myself.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Dear anonymous who started this thread. There are many components to why you feel might be asexual.
I don't know what abuse you endured and survived. I don't know if you are in therapy or what kinds of medications you might be on.
Your age could be part of it if you are young, many women don't orgasm until they are well into their twenties or later and then if they find the right partner or are comfortable discovering their body on their own. If you were sexually abused, feeling pleasure in the act or even feeling desire could come with feelings of self disgust. How you were raised the women and men you were raised by and their attitudes towards sex could have an influence.

There is the possibility you are asexual. There is no shame in that. I am in no way suggesting you leave this forum but there might be forums for those who are asexual and you might want to check one out to see if you feel a connection and learn how they come to terms with it. If you are, that doesn't mean you are incapable of having rich relationships without sex.

If you are married it could be your partner .... Well there are a lot of could be's there.

The important thing is to learn what you need to learn about your body and accept it and love it for however it is. Don't let others words of judgment be your truth. Don't let others leave you feeling less than. You are perfect as you are.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

This is such an interesting topic and I have no intent on offending anyone but scanning through it I noticed a bit of defensiveness if not outrage (speaking from personal experience there) when it is suggested that men pleasure themselves. Yet when it is mentioned that women do so, it is not only acceptable but presented as possibly a way to give men an added enjoyment.

I'm not talking about reproduction. Of course most are attracted biologically for reproduction purposes.

Women don't stop having sexual needs once they are past reproducing or their tubes are tied, just like men who get snipped so they don't impregnate anyone.

I know the thread is do men "need" sex and if so why? But the topic can't be explored without asking, "don't women need sex and if so why?"

I think it is a matter of "It's a man's world" archaic thinking on both sides.

In a healthy sexual relationship, when sex = orgasm is the objective there will be times one partner reaches the goal and the other not. There is a balance however and an effort to learn and care enough to educate one's self and talking with open, honest communication. At least that's what I've read hahaha... I admit I am not that healthy. Yet.

 

[Hooper]

I know the thread is do men "need" sex and if so why? But the topic can't be explored without asking, "don't women need sex and if so why?"

I agree on this being an interesting topic. I thought about the inverse as you stated above but the conclusion I came to was a relationship needs sex. When I've been single taking care of myself was not a problem and in fact still do today which I think is normal inside my marriage. It's tough laying in bed with someone you are very attracted to who is not interested.

 

[EveHarrington]

Not all relationships need sex.

 

[Thizette]

Men and women both need sex. It's a basic biological need for most human beings. That being said, what they actually need is orgasm, which is not dependent on a partner, though a partner is often the preferred method. A need for sex shouldn't be used as a way to demand or manipulate in a relationship, and it often is.

 

[StrikingViking]

Companionship and intimacy are fundamental human needs. Sexual intercourse isn't. It's just reall...

Translation: womens needs are "real," men's aren't.

 

[StrikingViking]

Men and women both need sex. It's a basic biological need for most human beings. That being said, what...

I disagree-- at least about women. Female testosterone varies by 100 times as much as male testosterone, indicating that only a fraction of women were intended to reproduce.

Childbirth wouldn't be such a problem for most women if were a universal need; meanwhile some have almost no problem at all; rather, universal childbirth mandatory under ancient law for people to procreate in order to outnumber rival civilizations,
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" is a commandment, because it lowers birth-rates--- fact; and so women are forced by law and custom into mandatory monogamous relationships, and some are unsatisfied while the rest get "headaches" and torturous pregnancy, as women were conscripted into childbirth just like men were conscripted into war.

But of course now women are "liberated" from that, while men are still drafted; and of course women's needs are validated while men's are villified saying that "men don't really need sex--- they just think they do in order to control and degrade women, since that's what they've been taught."
And yes, this is what's taught on college campuses in anti-male hate-speech.
Likewise, men are taught to compete with each other over it, which only causes more stress for those least able to get it, while psychopaths have no scruples in doing so-- look at Bill Clinton.

 

[anonymous]

Op here, I'm early thirties, had orgasms since I was 12, had both male and female partners. Was sexually abused from a young age by both males and females. I have vaginismus from the abuse and don't see any way I can have intercourse with a man and don't want to. I am still stuck with this and fear ending up all alone the rest of my life thanks to not being able to have intercourse.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I'm confused. Where did I suggest that companionship and intimacy are women's needs? They are considered basic human needs, according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, at least.

I, and many other women, would prefer a good romp to a cuddle.

http://www.quotemaster.org/images/80/80545f1e686d4b3a23b793709b7f2536.jpg

Translation: womens needs are "real," men's aren't.

 

[anonymous]

therapy or what kinds of medications you might be on.

Also - I'm not in therapy - and not on medication anymore. The disinterest in sex persists but thank you for your kind message, I'm working on accepting myself as I am. I just wish that won't mean I have to be all alone my whole life..