Do narcissist parents have children for supply?

[mumstheword]

I’m very late to this and possibly nobody is still following this thread. Nonetheless, this discussion...

This definition rings true for my experiences. My ex isn't diagnosed because, ha, you know he's beyond fault, the fault was always with me apparently, but that ,"hollowness" thing really strikes a cord. His eyes were like black pits of emptiness and he lied, lied, lied and needed to have the upper hand at any and all cost to myself, our children etc etc. The lack of regard for others was palpable.

Once, one evening, our youngest, who has maybe ten at the time, was missing. My now partner rang my ex's house to see if he was there and ex just blurted out "he's at your house." didn't check, just lied, now clearly his own son wasn't at my house, so it was a stupid lie, but anything to get responsibility off his shoulders. This was his own son, who was missing after dark and my current partner cared more about finding my son that his own father did. Yeah, so my kid's dad wasn't concerned about the whereabouts of his child, just that he could shirk any responsibility in locating him.

My partner was, understandably perturbed by this response. It's just a small thing, there were other mind blowing irresponsible-to-the-welfare-of-his-children scenario, lots of them, but, yeah, empty of any sense of normal, natural regard for his own offspring.

 

[Dana1010]

I think one way you can single out true NPD from all the narcissistic "types" out there is by looking for withdrawal. When a person with NPD has their supply cut off (supply is usually a person who reflects something flattering back to themselves, for example, the underling I spoke about), they have an extreme reaction. It is almost like they are asphyxiating. They will lash out in anger and frustration, try to put them back in their place, get back on top. It totally consumes them; they can't rest until they've adjusted the "mirror" and got themselves back on top. It's like a junkie jonesing for hard narcotics. They pace around grimacing and gnashing their teeth; they can't think of anything but a fix.

 

[Fadeaway]

That isnt always the case. Sometimes they just dont care if they have other sources.

 

[Hojay]

I don’t think this would necessarily be a distinguishing feature. Many non-disordered people have a hard time letting others go and/or react strongly to rejection.