Do We As Sufferers Tend To Do Things in Excess?

[Grama-Herc]

I have found, once again, that when I decided to do something I go whole hog and get in way over my head. I then get completely overwhelmed and end up in a downward tail spin.

Here is my example. The last time I decided to shelter orphan kittens I got so burned out that I got rid of every piece of equipment, all my supplies and went to bed for almost a week! I isolated for quite a while and was really suffering because I was so exhausted.

As time went on I missed sheltering more and more and so recently I've gone back to sheltering kittens again.

Well, I am now so burnt out I can barely keep my eyes open. My patience is gone. I'm grumpy. On edge. I have had a raging headache for days and my mom is pissed at me.

Instead of pacing myself, I took on more and more and more kittens until I could no longer care for them properly. So, I just returned all the bigger kittens and only have 1 litter of babies instead of 4.

Is it a part of this ptsd to overdo and overwhelm?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Doing things to keep busy, and to help ease our minds is ok IMO!!! But when we do things to the point of burnout, you need to stop and ask yourself WHY you did them in the first place..

So Herc...Why did you take on so many kittens in the fist place???? I think I know the answer, but I will let you answer.

 

[2quilt]

I see myself doing that too. I wipe out my whole day doing a quilt top or researching something that makes me angry, or eating stuff that is bad for me. I can't do anything at a normal pace or with non-PTSD enthusiasm or passion for letting it encompass my whole day.

I have to learn how to limit myself, and not overdo something until I am in bed with pain. Do I do this as a distraction or what pushes me to live this way?

Stress makes me feel overwhelmed and I can't get my mind off a single subject.

 

[Marlene]

Knowing that I can go whole-hog and over the top with different projects/interests makes me very hesitant to start anything new. I'm afraid that whatever I start out will sort of take over until it's gets to be too much and I just walk away in anger and disgust.

I work very hard to keep myself in check and not let what I'm doing get ahead of me. Part of that is going slow and steady rather than that 'normal' manic pace I kept up for years. Sometimes I still berate myself for not keeping up that old pace. After all, it worked for so long. But reminding myself that I've stopped being the rabbit and started being the turtle in this race helps a bit.

But in answer to your question, Herc...yes, I think it's part of the whole PTSD package to do things in excess. Not sure why, though. Maybe it's like Wendy said to keep our minds busy so we don't have to deal with all of the crap that dwells within.

Lisa

 

[linasmom]

Herc,

Yes, I always end up taking on more than I can chew off. I'm in one of those times right now so I feel your pain. I'm glad that you took steps to relieve yourself of some of the responsibilities in order to get healthy.

I think we tend to "over-compensate" at times, maybe taking on so much because we are trying to make up for "lost" times when we aren't doing anything but PTSDing.

 

[Grama-Herc]

OK She, let's see now!

I am trying to fill the void my daughter left when she went back home. I am trying to distract myself. I have no on/off switch. I want to save them ALL!

I don't know. I always do this with the babies but this time it was more intense and much quicker. But also, I identified the problem much sooner than usual. So there are +/- to this/.

What is it you are thinking?

 

[Deleted member 541]

If I remember correctly you decided to do this AFTER your daughter contacted you...

IMHO...... You do things to avoid thinking about you and your situation. You use the kittens to nurture, where you failed with your daughter. You probably want so bad to fix things with her that you went overboard this time with the kittens.

I guess what I am trying to say is how I feel about my situation, and it's very close to yours. We don't know how to parent, we feel out of place in the situation and so we try to do the parenting in situations that we won't be judged. Thus you have the kittens and you give all of your love and emotions to them and over do.

I am probably wrong, but it's just my gut feeling...

 

[Grama-Herc]

Oh She

How very right you are on this one. I have never looked at it quite this way before but WOW! Wish I had the insight into this that you have!

How is it that I've been at this mother/daughter issue longer than you have and yet you have more insight and answers than I do?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Who knows Herc...All I do know is that it sucks....