Do You Always Know What Your Flashback Means

[BrownEyes]

I was wondering if everyone who experiences flashbacks always understand what they mean, and how they relate to their trauma.

For example, last night I was half awake and half asleep and sometimes during that state I get really vivid flashbacks.

And while I was laying there I heard, in my left ear, an extremely loud noise. Almost like a gun shot. And the loudness was deafening. I jumped and gasped and then laid there in bed having flashbacks of being sexually abused in my bed as a child.

But I'm confused over the loud noise. I don't know why I would have that as part of my flashback. I would think if it was a flashback that I would recognize it as having happened before during my trauma, but I don't.

Do other people have flashbacks that they can't really piece into their trauma?

 

[catjudo]

Are you sure the loud noise was part of the flashback? Or perhaps was the noise real, it startled/scared you and then it triggered your flashback? Just a thought.

 

[BrownEyes]

Hi catjudo,

That thought did cross my mind. But my husband was sleeping beside me and wasn't aware of any sound. It is a possibility though. Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Is it possible that the loud noise that you heard(in your mind) was a door slamming, just prior to being molested???

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Sometimes I can't put all the pieces together and it's frustrating - but I think sometimes my flashbacks mold so to speak - like one flashback may actually be 2 different events. Does that make sense at all?

Or it's possible that you just don't remember whatever the loud noise was - so you can't relate it to the rest of the flashback.

I think it's all about how our minds tuck things away - I don't know that it all comes back out in the same order.

 

[kers]

When I'm falling asleep, I often think I hear a loud noise and jump awake. I'm not sure if it's part of a memory (slamming doors figure prominently in mine) or a startle reaction to something. They scare the bejesus out of me, though, and make it hard to fall asleep again.

 

[louisa]

Hi Browneyes,

I've had this too. A couple of times, many years ago while I was suffering from depression but had also recently experienced a 'trauma'. I am not sure if it is a ptsd symptom or whether there is a physical explanation entirely unrelated to ptsd, but I have experienced it once since developing ptsd. I would describe it the way you have, 'almost like a gunshot' or a very loud crack,

Louisa

 

[melissagrace]

I can't speak to whether or not the noise was real or part of a nightmare or just part of the PTSD/flashback experience, but I have definitely had flashbacks that I couldn't piece into my trauma(s)...

It has also happened that I later (in tx and separate from it) was able to put the pieces together to make sense of the flashback and incorporate it in its proper place...

That said, I still have triggers and flashbacks and whatever-you-wanna-call-'em that I don't understand... I am hopeful that they'll make sense and fall into place one day, as other memories have.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you're having such a disconcerting experience.

best,
melissagrace

 

[Paloma]

So glad to see I am not the only one who gets these...gunshots/door banging/explosions...whatever. I get these when I am overly stressed or fatigued. Now I look to my dogs or other people to tell if it's real. I also sometimes get smells that don't exist. I can't really attribute them to specific traumas...but could very well be sensory perceptions that I ...ahem...was not focusing on at the time. Maybe my memory filing system is really untidy. Maybe the circuits that flood for a flashback...dribble a bit with these 'hallucinations' when my personal amperage starts ratcheting up. All I can tell you is that for me, I am less freaked out by it and just use it as an early warning system that I am too stressed.
Paloma

 

[BrownEyes]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm so surprised to hear that other people have the same thing happen to them.

And the desciptions that some of you gave were even better than I could have described it myself.

It helps me to not be so concerned over it all just knowing that others experience the same thing.

Thanks to each of you.

 

[RosieNorth]

Hi Brown Eyes, Just thought I'd add another idea to this thread, although it's a little late. Do you think these loud cracks might be something to do with the nervous system? Sometimes I get crackles(not as loud as gunshot) like electricity. At the same time I can see is some kind of energy zipping about the room, like a web of lightening. This happens in a kind of a dream and only when I am very stressed or overtired. Then I go into a recurring dream that I've had for decades.