Do You Cry In Therapy?

[BLHutch]

I would think that how much, if any, a person cries is highly dependent on their own personality. I wouldn't think that you could quantify how much is "enough" crying. I was a cop. I don't cry. Ever. I have a hard enough time verbally expressing emotions in therapy, much less crying! It doesn't mean that I don't have any feelings, it just means that I don't express them or release them through tears. My wife is the opposite. She cries at the drop of a hat. I think just thinking about crying makes her cry!

So don't feel bad if you can't shed tears. Sometimes people don't.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

I rarely cry. When I do, it is very intense for about 5 min, then a huge exhausted nap to follow. Most of the time, sighing is more my way of expressing sadness, or a sad smile or sad shrug or sad hug. It is easy fro me to hold in tears, hard to let them out. Sometimes I know I need the release of a private tearful breakdown but I have to wait patiently for it to happen. I guess, don't force it in or out, just let the crying do its own thing when it feels right.

 

[Zoe1972]

I will cry in private, but rarely in front of people, it doesn't feel safe. I have only cried once in therapy, it was when my therapist told me she had to retire due to her illness(cancer).

 

[Notsowild]

I am not sure if there is any point in forcing it - surely you have to feel it in order for crying to be helpful in anyway ?

That's what I think. I guess when they both said it it made me feel a little abnormal.

Crying can help. I do find that, sometimes, and it's an awesome release for some of the pain.

I think this is why they want me to cry. But I can't force it.

There are some medications that make me feel like a zombie, so I don't cry. I hope you feel better about this, and maybe ask your therapist why noted that.

Last time I went to therapy I didn't take my Ativan hoping it would make more emotional. I didn't make any difference.

 

[marylouise]

As everyone else has said, I wouldn't worry about this. I don't like hearing that you're feeling pressured from your professional helpers to cry.

I don't cry that much about my personal story, though very bad things happened. But I bawl through movies. Especially when I actually watch the movie in the darkened theatre. Scenes that are happy or sad can set me off. Especially happy scenes focused on family. I also cry intermittently in response to classical music, blues songs, spoken-word stories, theatre productions, even a museum exhibit in one case. I'm sure that these are triggering deep wells of emotion related to my personal story, but I experience the sadness in relation to the art. I think it's good, a catharsis (though it can be embarrassing).

My excellent-but-unconventional therapist once told me that when bad things happen to her, she listens to the blues. I use that. Those songs are so poignant. I don't always or even usually cry, but somehow hearing all that pain from another person is comforting. I feel human, instead of broken. The guys and gals that developed the blues were definitely survivors of a whole lotta shit. I have a Robert Johnson station on Pandora that is amazing for this. Maybe you could listen to some blues too.

 

[Notsowild]

I was shocked at the amount of sadness that came pouring out of me. I thought it would never end. Tsunamis of grief. But they did end.

That is probably no IS a fear that I wouldn't be able to stop. Silly?

If you're medicated, that could keep you from crying. If you're numb, that could keep you from crying. Do you have problems feeling other emotions as well? .

Yikes Solara... I do have a hard time feeling other emotions. I am abnormal. I can feel sad, happy or angry but not fully like everyone else.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, its normal within the scope of PTSD. I'm not saying that to mean that everything is OK, rather you're not alone in that a lot of other sufferers experience numbness at one point or another.

In my trauma processing I did a lot of work with getting in touch with my feelings through IFST (inter family systems therapy). It REALLY helped me, and sadly I've slacked off and need to start working on it again. All of my emotions (ok, most of them) are represented by puppets. It was so funny that most of my emotions were represented by animals that shockingly reflected that particular emotion. My "self" is a turtle (I can hide in my home at any given time!) and my anxiety is a cheetah (when I'm anxious, I just want to RUN...literally run!) Sorry for the tangent, but maybe look up IFST? It may help.

If its your medication that is causing numbness, I wouldn't necessarily kick it to the curb if you need it to remain stable. You can always try to work on feeling first and then if you don't make much progress on your own, then consider changing your meds. I know its not easy. I have been working on this for a few years and I still have to stop and think "what am I feeling right now?" But as with anything, practice makes it all a bit easier.

 

[marylouise]

Yikes Solara... I do have a hard time feeling other emotions. I am abnormal.

After all you've been through in your life, I'm guessing maybe self-protective? But not abnormal.

 

[zaniara]

I didn't cry in therapy before, and I did not even cry in trauma-therapy. Not until after about 10 months or so, and working through a bunch of traumas. First time I cried over the suffering my sister went through, and second time it was the physical abuse my dad put my dog through that triggered the tears.. - I couldn't cry 'for me' in the beginning.

And still I don't cry that often, even though a bit more. I wish it happened more often, because it feels as if it helps and heals me more. And it feels as if part of the grief(and there sure is a lot to grieve!!) is stuck/frozen inside, and as if the fact I'm still struggling so much to survive and am alone most of the time is part of the reason that happens.

When I used meds, especially the ones that cut the anxiety off(like ativan) it made me feel even less emotions. It took some time being clean from meds to get (at least some of) the feelings back.

 

[Miss_Understood]

I've been doing therapy for a short time and I've teared up but never full on cried. Yet, in couples therapy I cry every session.