Do You Hide It?

[AS6855]

All my friends know, I'm really open about it because it's not something that I caused and, hey, they already know I'm crazy lol.

At work is a different matter. My current wokplace knows only because I had a period of breakdowns and so I disclosed to my boss when he was trying to make sure I was ok.
They have been really understanding and I know that they only care but I have to tell them a few times each time I have trouble that keeping busy is what I need. They ask if there is any way they can help. tell me they are there if I need them, and remind me that I am able to leave early if I need to.
But that's only when I have trouble.
The rest of the time it's as if it doesn't exist and I am thankful for that. I don't want it to control me so work through the difficult times (plus I work with kids so having a public face is something that you learn very quickly if you don't already have it). But we are all allowed to stop and have a cup of tea, which is a god send.

 

[Sammyiam]

I hide it , only a small amount of close friends know, and I only told my two growing up children of my past and the PTSD etc a few months ago, and that was because they were starting to ask my husband to many questions that he couldn't answer and he said to me they are going to have to be told. My family as in the ones I grew up with family, don't know about my past or present. I feel ashamed about both my past and present and hate the fact that people would judge me. I even worry about posting things on here. I post when I'm all big and brave, then I think ooooo I shouldn't have done that, then I think why shouldn't i, then I have this war in my head about should I shouldn't I. I get scared of people finding out and thinking I'm crazy, and not wanting anything to do with me.

 

[Go Hungry]

I have only told personal friends. There is still great stigma about any sort of mental illness, and I just worry that people will treat me differently, or want to know why I have it. Either of those things would likely trigger the crap out of me. I did identify as disabled when HR asked recently, but that is supposed to be restricted knowledge. I also told the interim director about it, and he just said "Say no more." about it, so I guess that's okay.

It's a terrible thing, because sometimes I miss work due to the flashbacks and panic attacks, and so it's like everyone knows that something is up.. I wonder if I should just tell people.. The only other problem is that the gossip in my building is so bad, that 5 minutes after I said it; even Batman would know, and he's a fictional character...

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If you can hide it from everyone with nobody having a clue that something is wrong (and you live with people and work with people), then I'd say you need to count your lucky stars that your ptsd is on the more mild end of things. Many of us don't have the ability to hide it all away.

 

[desiderata310]

Solara, I guess that's the thing. Most EVERYONE knows something is wrong with me but they don't know what or they think I am really eccentric and high strung. I just don't disclose what or why.

 

[Wyakin]

I am open about mine to a point. I will tell people what I am diagnosed with if I feel they are understanding, I am lucky in that most people I know are but I will not say why I have it. I will even sit down and discuss within reason how it affects me so that they might understand better.

 

[.Bubbles.]

At this point, a handful of people know I have PTSD. Most others know "something is up" but don't know it's name. There are symptoms/reactions that I can't really hide sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

desiderata, In your case you can't hide away the symptoms but you can hide away the actual diagnosis. I was referring to those who can play it straight in every situation with nobody knowing anything is wrong. I think its sad to have a marriage where you can't even disclose such a life changing disorder with your partner. It doesn't seem like it would be much of a marriage, as in what is the point? You're obviously not able to get the support you need from your SO, so why be married?

 

[bell]

For the partners who don't want to tell their partners, I agree with @Solara, seriously, why *are* you married? And are you happily so if you can't share your diagnosis?

And, I can't help but wonder, what would you do if you found out your partner had PTSD and they didn't want to tell you?

Coming out, so to speak, is hard, but it's a ton easier than stuffing it all in. When people I know in real life find out, they almost always knew "something" was wrong anyway, so might as well name it so they can support you.

 

[Faith Hope Charity]

Funny. I advertise it and have never been officially diagnosed. Believe me, I've got it, but for some reason, I can't seem to get a doc to diagnose me. I feel like I'm not seeing the right people. Does that make sense?

To address your question more accurately, today, if you have PTSD, your seen as a danger. No wonder you hide it. I guess I do as well.....but not to family or close friends.

 

[bell]

Um, if you can't get a doc to diagnose you with PTSD, you may not have PTSD. Chances are high you have something similar, which may need different tools to treat. In my opinion, you're doing yourself a disservice by saying you have it and mis-educating people on what PTSD really is.

The whole "not seeing the right people" argument usually means you aren't listening to what they told you.

 

[maryiscontrary]

Well, I could care less what other people think. Basically my good friends know I cannot tolerate high adrenaline situations. If I say I am uncomfortable with a situation in the most compassionate, non threatening way, then my true friends will respect that. I bring a lot to the table in my relationships. I honestly try to do my best, but if it falls short for some people....well the reality is that needs are mismatched for meaningful bonding.