Do You Hide It?

[Friday]

Yay! I'm glad this thread came up again! I totally lost track of it. Backwards first: Friday-The-Divorced-Chick's-Marriage-Spiel (aka my opinion & clean version : opinions are like noses. We all have one and they all smell).

"Best" is a singular concept.

But in families, partnerships, parenting... There is a multiplicity of Bests.

What's best for one family can be worst, mediocre, middling, alright, darn good, we do almost the same thing, and even best for another.

There is no best-for-everyone. Best is what works best in your own family, partnership, parenting situation. Things only translate so far. There are literally thousands of "right" ways of doing things, and only 3 wrong ones (Abuse, Neglect, & Not). The not, btw, doesn't mean it's wrong not to have a partner, child, etc. It just means that without the other people involved, there's no way to know what's right, yet. Much lest meandering towards our own personal version of best. Even families with 500 kids, best changes with #501. Every time a person is added, the target(s) move. Cause what's best for one kid in a family, isn't necessarilly best for all kids in that family. Which changes the entire family's "best" yet again.

Our marriages all look different. Even if they're all our best marriage. It doesn't invalidate anyone's needs for someone else's needs to be different.

Spiel over. ;)

 

[Friday]

As far as disclosing & hiding...

I used to disclose without a second thought. For 10 years. Sure. I had (past tense) a perky little case of PTSD way back when, still have a few side effects, no big deal. Sigh. I wasn't asymptomatic, but I'd "learned how to do this", so I didn't have any symptoms I wasn't generally fine with having. (Aka what I had was minor, and I didn't care about them, I didn't bother sorting them out. A problem is a problem... When it's a problem. It was no problem).

I hid the actual symptoms like a mofo.

These days I'm a little in reverse. I'm all super symptomatic, and no matter how hard I try and hide them... They leak out all over the darn place. The best I can do to hide them is isolate. So nobody sees me being all symptomatic. :rolleyes: Which is symptomatic in and of itself. :banghead::inpain::wtf: Drats. Foiled again.

And I disclose not at all. My jaw literally slams shut, I've tried talking about it IRL, and I can't even make reference to it without actually triggering a panic attack. Oops. That's not good.

However... I'm talking about it here. In 15+ years, this is the first time I've really sat down and started thrashing things out with other people. It is ridiculously useful and helpful. lol. Go figure! Help being useful.

 

[IWIK]

@FridayJones Thank you for your response. I think feeling like making me feel like I've been a shitty wife for so long hasn't been a justice been a justice for me these past few days. I wish it was easier to talk about but I freeze. Nothing comes out even if I try.

 

[Whirlwind]

There is no best-for-everyone. Best is what works best in your own family, partnership, parenting situation.

Isn't that the truth. Well put. I think advice is almost always well intended but the older I get, the more I see the shades of grey.

However... I'm talking about it here. In 15+ years, this is the first time I've really sat down and started thrashing things out with other people. It is ridiculously useful and helpful. lol.

Great to hear, I have to say this site has been amazingly helpful, I welcome all my inputs to date.

I think feeling like making me feel like I've been a shitty wife for so long

online is hard - the full pic doesn't always come through. I have incredible difficulty talking too, except here. I still don't trust talking to my spouse fully which means who knows what. I did some this week and it went well. timing can be everything, in my case, waiting felt good for me and meant no difference to him (not telling him earlier). No harm no foul.

Take care, Whirlwind

 

[Notsowild]

I try to hide it. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to though. I'd like to tell everyone at work. I feel like I'm playing a role at work pretending I'm just like them. But I'm not that good at it. Most ( if not all ) think I'm very strange and quirky. Maybe need acting classes lol

 

[TonyG]

I have only told my wife and son so far, They both said they knew that I had it, jokes on me, I do need to talk to a manager but I'm not sure who or how at the moment, I don't want to be labelled

 

[ForagingChef]

I am completely open about my PTSD diagnosis, not hidden from anyone. There was no trying to appear normal when I got away from my situation.

My whole existence has focused on getting better, not treating symptoms. Pharmaceuticals have played a very small role in my recovery, only at he very beginning. I instead turned to ayahuasca, ibogaine, DMT and marijuana.

I am a vocal advocate of plant medicine to treat PTSD. I spent five months working at an ibogaine treatment center that focused on treating opiate addictions. Nobody else at the center had been diagnosed with PTSD. In my time there I was given the opportunity to use myself as a guinea pig to create and test new dosing protocols.

Looking for a new direction in life the plan is to help others dealing with PTSD through plant medicine. I've fumbled along finding little in the way of examples of these medicines being used for PTSD stemming from domestic abuse.

I see hope in this area. Nothing gives me more joy than seeing the change they can bring.

PTSD and psychedelics, everybody knows.

 

[TonyG]

Ok last night I had a chat with my manager and told him I have PTSD he quickly replied there's nothing to be ashamed of and if I need time off or just want to talk his door is always open, Well I am thinking that was a whole lot of worry about nothing,

 

[Loloma]

I am quite open with it as far as family and friends are concerned. Apart from them it's no one elses business.

My diagnosis was made in 1991 when I was hospitalised. Nothing to be ashamed of as it made me understand what was going on in my head. There was more a sense of freedom. Even though my first and second husband tried to use it against me. They are both ex's now, so who cares.

Just wanted to say if you're not comfortable telling family, friends and work then don't. It's a personal issue that only you can decide.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I agree with @Loloma , go by your own personal experiences. I would never say it now knowing what I know.

 

[anthony]

Looking for a new direction in life the plan is to help others dealing with PTSD through plant medicine.

You have a thread on this already, DO NOT push your agenda as it is classified as self-promotion, and against forum rules. Discuss it in your thread, but please DO NOT run around the forum pushing your agenda on other threads.

 

[ForagingChef]

Sorry, not the intention. Curious to know others with similar views. Not sure if it will lead anywhere. Not ready to do anything but hope to at some point.