Do You Think People Believe Self Harmers Without Big Scars?

[scout86]

I self harmed by pulling my cuticles off,

This has been a really strange week and obviously today isn't going to be any different.

My first thought when I read that was "Doesn't everyone do that? THAT 'counts'?"

I think I need a couple of you to actually answer the question, because I've always thought of "self harm" as....well scarier than that. That happens to be something I've done as long as I can remember, still do, and never really thought about. WTH?

 

[Anarchy]

"Doesn't everyone do that? THAT 'counts'?"

I think there is a whole spectrum, and I don't think it's really possible to draw a line or hammer a golden spike in to that spectrum to mark where a fidget like picking nails, squeezing the occasional zit, getting a tattoo or a piercing, or trying to lose a few pounds becomes clearly self harmful and serves some sort of compulsive purpose - soothing, grounding, a feeling of self agency etc.

My personal one is going after zits, and I'll dig big and bloody holes in anything that looks remotely like it might become one, I have an ex and a niece who both dig simillar sized bloody holes in themselves - both of them arguably have developmental trauma.

 

[Ronin]

To me this one reads rather simple, going back to motive.

If a person is trying to hurt themselves, no matter how small that injury is physically? It's self harm.

If it's the same action for a different reason and/or purpose? Arguable. Could be self harm, could be not. Pretty individual.

 

[InvisibleSun]

I don't have a lot of scarring either and I cut for 11.5 years..I cut in places I could hide because I always felt so much shame for what I was doing to myself. Honestly though, I wouldn't worry about what other people may or may not think. This is your battle to fight and it doesn't really matter whether other people believe you or not. Be selective with whom you disclose this to and you shouldn't have a problem. The one's who really care and want to help you get better will believe you. Those who don't can go f*ck themselves.

People come and go in life..try not to get too wrapped up in what their opinions may or not be. The only opinion that really matters is yours. You need validation from nobody but yourself..best of luck! :)

 

[Leah Morgan]

I am a self harmer to a cutter and burner, I have a really high pain threshold, self harm scarring level depends on what skin type you have so how you heal and also your pain threshold how deep you can tolerate or how long you can tolerate heat. The cuticle thing to is a form of self harm but people all do it to different degrees. I am unfortunately riddled with ugly scars that are difficult to disguise however I have no one to blame but myself. I tell people I fell through a green house. That shura most people up. At least with low scar level if you manage to over come this you won't have so many reminders. Big hugs I hope your okay.

 

[nessa3]

I nearly posted this in the anonymous thread and decided not to. I'm sorry if this post offends people....

There is all kinds of self harming, over eating , drinking,reckless driving,hitting,neglecting your health....
I was a dare devil when I was a teen and would push everything to the limit....daring death...now I hit myself occationally and cut...more like cat scratches...afew deeper....but nothing that needs stitches.

 

[Weemie]

i dunno, i'm kind of in the opposite boat, you know? i have heaps of scars which are cigarette burns, and most people think i self-harmed, so i just agree. my friend at work was like, oh my wife used to do that. and i was like, oh yeah. if i did it to myself, i could own that, i feel like, you know? you can't own this stuff. people look at you differently. there's some on my hands, so they're hard to hide even tho i wear long sleeves. it's easier for me to let people think i did it to myself, than to think that someone else did it to me. plus there is one on my left wrist that was from me trying to slit my wrist, so it makes the lying easier. some day i think i'll convince myself i did it all.

 

[Jewels]

Hi Cool Cat
First of all, I can understand the self harm. Sometimes the emotional pain or anger at yourself can be so overwhelming. I can't remember or identify when I had started this "unhealthy" (as my Psychiatrist would say) coping mechanism. I do know it started out with small things and progressed to carving words in my side where no one would see, at the age (46). Secondly, try to identify safe people to open up too. If your in need of someone to care, understand and help you, then only a truly safe -sticking with you thru thick and thin- person is the one to tell. Telling anyone and everyone will only cause you more hurt and harm. Most people can't understand why someone would want to harm themselves. This site is a great place to open up. I am glad you haven't harmed yourself in several months, wish I could say the same thing (after a year, I had a very overwhelming day of flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that the emotional pain was too much for me to handle). I wish you the best.