Does anyone here feel 'jealous' of people who got it worse?

[sickfaery]

this might sound weird (and warning btw i'm kinda drunk) but i'm sorta jealous of people who have worse traumas than me, idk why.
pers mine are from i was underage mostly & are sexual but for some reason i still feel jealous of like those who've been like sexually abused younger than me. idk why i feel like this but i do. i think i heard this was common but idk. am i the only one here who feels like this?

 

[Juso]

Maybe you have a problem with minimizing your own trauma and this jealousy comes from wanting to be able to allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself?

 

[Movingforward10]

Who defines "what's worse"? And why? Why spend time comparing your trauma to your perception of someone else's?

And I second what @Juso says.

 

[Rani G2]

but i'm sorta jealous of people who have worse traumas than me, idk why.

Juso makes a point there.

Could be emotional avoidance by a distorted way of thinking : My suffering isn’t justified enough.. comparing trauma severity is a futile thing, maybe a part of you is trying to escape the confrontation with your own trauma by downplaying the aftermath. Just keep in mind that internal fights for trying to acknowledging one’s own pain is a process as well..otherwise you wouldn’t ask this question.

Please toss aside if not helpful.

 

[Freida]

Yep

Mine used to go like this --- As long as there are people who have it worse I have no right to think my trauma was anything bad. Which means I don't deserve help - which can trigger that jealousy moment because if I was only "worse" like them then I would be able to justify why I need help.

It's the hamster wheel from hell
I don't think like that anymore (well - not most of the time! ) but it took really listening to the people here to get me to see there is no better or worse.
There is just trauma.

 

[piratelady]

but i'm sorta jealous of people who have worse traumas than me, idk why.

I don’t know if I ever put the word “jealous” on it, but sometimes I feel similar. For me, it’s more like I shouldn’t feel the way I do because what I went through wasn’t that bad. So I shouldn’t feel the way I do. But other people who had “real trauma” their ptsd symptoms make sense. The fact that I have symptoms of ptsd just means I’m weak.

 

[user27357]

No. Unless it means they get to spend more time with the hot therapists.
No, there is no reason I would ever wish what I saw on someone who has seen less, and I would never wish I had been exposed to more like the poor bastards that were.
I went down to the demonstration, to get my fair share of abuse...... Not me, never. Got mine, it was enough.

 

[Justmehere]

Sexual trauma when young (or of any age) mixes what should be an in credibility enjoyable experience with horrible feelings and boundary violations. To want the worse trauma experience may come out of that confusion. Some survivors have rape fantasies as part of their working out the trauma.