Does My Therapist Want Me To Melt Down?

[sun seeker]

what if I get locked inside a flashback or something around my therapist?

I'm going to jump in here. If that happens, then he will help you work through the flashback, or whatever the case may be. Best case scenario is he helps you resolve it (release the trauma, bring you more into the present moment) so you become less symptomatic. That's part of what therapists are for. Your job is not to make a good impression on him. Your job is to show up. He can only work with what is there. If you let him see you symptomatic, he will be able to help you better than if you just talk about your symptoms.

The only possible danger I can see is if you aren't able to work through whatever comes up in the time allotted and go home in a triggered state. If that is a worry for you, I'd say talk to him about it and if possible schedule a longer appointment so there is time to do the work. And/or, talk about planning for safety, i.e. can you call him after hours if in crisis, or is there another plan to keep you safe?

Other than that, for him to see you in a flashback? Unless you are afraid of that for yourself, not for how it makes you look, I'd say that would be more desirable than not.

 

[Riot]

Thanks, @sun seeker. I am pretty sure I have had flashbacks, but only very recently connected these moments with the word. I guess my biggest concern, is becoming 'stuck' in dissociation, which usually occurs when I numb out after a flashback. Last time, I am 98% sure I was in some sort of fugue for hours.

Also, it's less that I'm unwilling to talk about it, and more to do with the fact I literally have difficulties with speech when it happens.


Yikes. 10 hours left. That went by fast.

 

[barefoot]

I agree with @sunseeker - if you have a flashback/dissociate etc, he will help you to work through it and will help you to ground and get you back present. He will have seen it countless times before with clients - he won't be freaked out by it or scared about it and won't judge you for it (not sure if any of those are concerns for you or not, so just putting that out there!)

It is part of his duty of care to ensure that you are safe to leave at the end of the session. That said, I have certainly left in a severely dissociated state a several times - my therapist tried to encourage me to stay but I decided I was leaving so, really what could she do besides rugby tackle me to the ground?!

There have been other times when she's had a gap after me so she's let me stay longer so that I can get more grounded before I leave. And other times when she's had a client after me but she encouraged me to wait downstairs for a while to get more grounded before I left and I did that.

I think it's worth you discussing your concerns around this - what happens if I have a flashback? What will you do? I'm worried I'm going to get stuck in a dissociated state here? By discussing it openly together, you can plan a way forward together and hopefully you will feel reassured.

As an aside, I've lost count of the number of times my therapist has told me there's no wrong or right way to do therapy - we just need to show up and be however we need to be. I definitely still struggle with putting that concept into practise myself, but I do also accept the truth in that. And that has been a little freeing and has made me (slightly!) less controlled/controlling in sessions, which has been uncomfortable at times but, ultimately, a good thing.

Good luck!

 

[Riot]

Thank you, @barefoot! That makes me feel a little better.

 

[sun seeker]

He will have seen it countless times before with clients

Absolutely agree with this.

I have certainly left in a severely dissociated state a several times

Yes. Or in some other state of distress. A therapist I had before once made me a cup of tea and set me up on the porch to drink it and come back to the present moment after the session when I wasn't in good shape to leave. The therapist I have now has more leeway to go overtime if necessary and has on many occasions taken the extra time needed to finish up what we are working on and make sure I am okay to leave. A few other times as I am leaving he has told me to call him later that day or in a few days' time. Unless your therapist is seriously not attuned to what is going on, he will be paying attention to what state you are in when leaving. But I agree... talk to him about your concerns so it's out there.

 

[Enaila]

@Klo, what if I melt down, or dissociate, or have a flashback?

It is a safe place to do so. I try to remind myself this when feeling like you described.