Does Not Being Able To Find Things Where You Left Them Cause A Panic?

[Deleted member 30639]

Am I the only person who gets so triggered by not being able to find something where I left it? I get a panic/anger reaction, sometimes very badly.

During times of increased stress, I literally cannot see what I am looking for even when it's in plain sight.

What coping skills do you use?

Should I store all my stuff in a locked room to keep my family and dog from moving my stuff? It was fine when I worked less and had one child. With working full time, having bad PTSD, having an active other child, and a dog, I cannot find things and feel like I can't take the chaos anymore.

 

[Fadeaway]

I wouldn't say I get triggered, but it does incite panic depending on the item. Keys for example.

 

[shimmerz]

So many stories from the past about this. I had no idea what it was. Until 25 or so years later. I lost my keys at a party one time (I don't drink) and the hostess of the party, because I couldn't find my keys refused to let me leave and my son had to stay late at daycare. That made my losing stuff climb up the priority tree to highest branch.

I went out and bought a key holder that was way up on the wall, found a particular place in my purse to carry my key, got one of those plastic accordion files for organizing that i call 'MY LIFE', and hunkered down and committed to being completely mindful of where I put everything. A.place.for.everything.

Worked great until my ex decided to gaslight me and started screwing with my system. I thought I was going to go insane because I couldn't find anything. Long story short, if nobody is purposely messing with your stuff, not a bad plan to put together a file/stuff/key etc system and be merciless with yourself. Everything goes in its proper place. No exceptions. It served me well for years and I am certain saved my sanity through all of those years.

 

[jaccat]

I have problems with my short term memory that means I literally have no idea what I've done with stuff that I've just put down. It can be incredibly frustrating. You know the thing when someone says trace it back from where you last remember you had it? Doesn't help when there's a big hole in your memory. And there seems no logic to where I put stuff at times. House keys in the cereal carton?

However, it has been happening for so long I've got kind of used to it. It still throws me, but I'm so used to it I just automatically start hunting for whatever I've lost. A part of me knows I'll find it in the end. Of help to me- but probably not you if it's other people moving your stuff- is to be extra vigilant about what I do with stuff, leaving myself notes if I have to. Would it help you to take a rational approach- tell yourself you know what is missing is nearby, there is no risk of danger from others. It's not permanently lost or stolen. It might calm you enough to make it easier to look?

 

[Marymickaela]

At first when I can't find something I'm ok, but the longer I look my anxiety kicks in until it almost becomes a panic attack to the point, like you said, I can be looking directly at it and can't see it. I start to dissociate and get fuzzy headed. Luckily my H is so used to this happening to me that he'll help me look and usually find whatever it is right away. It drives me crazy cause it's gotten to point he treats me like a child sometimes. He'll start asking me if I have stuff before I even have to leave. I do have a place for keys and I try to have a spot where things have a home.