My partner's ptsd has been caused by his job in the emergency services, exacerbated in times of stress by childhood issues that then crop up. It is his job that continues to trigger him, with politics and moreso incidents he attends. He is up to 50 fatalities and acknowledges this has had an effect on him, but does not want to accept that staying with his job runs the risk of increasing damage to him. It is supposed to be a part time position, with the others in the place having full time jobs as well, but his focus on it has been so high that our business is all but non-existent.
He kept blaming winter for quiet times, now that it's summer and nothing is happening he still won't accept that it's his lack of focus.
The most recent exit from our relationship has been an incident of a motor vehicle accident. Even though he knows somewhere in his brain that this has been a trigger, he maintains it's to do with childhood issues suddenly coming up because he was contacted by his mother. In fact he'll use every reason under the sun, including faults with me, for his actions. Every reason except the fact, especially when going through these episodes of removing himself from me. In fact any mention of ptsd being related to his work in my texts over the last week have been met with enormous anger.
I fear that the next fatality will send him over the edge to a place where he will not only lose me, but also his job and any sense of reality. The politics in this place of work are so entrenched and so bitter that two previous captains have left due to ptsd. I was told he has taken on "warrior syndrome" where he feels he must stay there to save his crew from falling apart.
Is there any point to stating facts to someone in such strong denial? 18 months ago he even managed to convince his therapist it was any other issues rather than work - until my therapist conferred with his. At that point he was referred to someone who did EMDR, something which started a healing journey and 12 months of a loving and positive relationship. Until he took on the captain's role. I'm thinking of sending a text with a timeline of facts. But am worried it will only be met with extreme anger as it has done in the past. If I don't, will it never click, and will he continue on this path to self destruction, supported by people who have no idea what's going on in his mind?
He kept blaming winter for quiet times, now that it's summer and nothing is happening he still won't accept that it's his lack of focus.
The most recent exit from our relationship has been an incident of a motor vehicle accident. Even though he knows somewhere in his brain that this has been a trigger, he maintains it's to do with childhood issues suddenly coming up because he was contacted by his mother. In fact he'll use every reason under the sun, including faults with me, for his actions. Every reason except the fact, especially when going through these episodes of removing himself from me. In fact any mention of ptsd being related to his work in my texts over the last week have been met with enormous anger.
I fear that the next fatality will send him over the edge to a place where he will not only lose me, but also his job and any sense of reality. The politics in this place of work are so entrenched and so bitter that two previous captains have left due to ptsd. I was told he has taken on "warrior syndrome" where he feels he must stay there to save his crew from falling apart.
Is there any point to stating facts to someone in such strong denial? 18 months ago he even managed to convince his therapist it was any other issues rather than work - until my therapist conferred with his. At that point he was referred to someone who did EMDR, something which started a healing journey and 12 months of a loving and positive relationship. Until he took on the captain's role. I'm thinking of sending a text with a timeline of facts. But am worried it will only be met with extreme anger as it has done in the past. If I don't, will it never click, and will he continue on this path to self destruction, supported by people who have no idea what's going on in his mind?
