Poll Does Putting *** Instead Of A Full Cuss Word Help?

[Barberian]

Can you read the following paragraph? Most people can not. The letters are all jumbled. (I can).

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

 

[Abstract]

Pretty amazing Barberian.

I am pretty amazed that so many people say ** doesn't change things. Of course I still know what they word is. But it dulls it somehow. I wonder if it is because it is a less automatic part of the brain or the subconscious that is involved.


If it is with a triggering word such as r*p* then does everyone feel that way too?

Letters instead of ** doesn't work it seems.

 

[cherryblossom]

Swear words written down don't bother me. It makes no difference to me if words have letters asterisked out.

Of course if some one were to direct those swear words straight to me, in person, then of course it would upset me. But I think that would be due to the aggressive nature, rather than the words themselves.

Thinking about swear words, it's only really the c word that I find offensive., whether written or spoken.

 

[Whitneys story]

Thinking about swear words, it's only really the c word that I find offensive., whether written or spoken.

Completely agree with this one!

 

[Whitneys story]

@Barbarian, Yes I can read them. It really comes in handy for proof reading which I do a lot of. Whitney

 

[Hashi]

If it is with a triggering word such as r*p* then does everyone feel that way too?

Letters instead of ** doesn't work it seems.

For me, your example of r*p* might as well be the whole word because it's relatively easy to read words with vowels removed but consonants remaining (shorthand uses that principle, and it's the way some languages are written - the vowel indicators get left off after beginner level).

But say it was r*** ... I think that would only be understood in a very clear context, whereas if the letter was f it would be understood in any context. I'd be trying to think of a swear word beginning with r.

Also, got to say that personally I prefer the whole word anyway. I gather that your thinking is about triggers, but I think there's too much association of unacceptability around a word that's represented with asterisks, not just the word but the person using it and the fact of talking about it at all.

I used to be on a forum where R was used instead of the whole word. If there's a convention of doing that, then it's clear what it means and that it's a common abbreviation (like T for therapist) rather than something unacceptable to say.

 

[Abstract]

I understand your reasoning and it is why trauma therapists usually dont allow us to avoid words either. Not only does it desensitise but there is an aspect of having to trigger warn or change the word in these ways that implies there is shame involved. I have two minds with the whole thing. The dominant half thinks this way and the other just doesn't like getting those little random knocks from words or content.

I have actually been on a site where spelling rape out was not allowed.

 

[Pietro]

I'm actually surprised that any swearing is allowed here, because most public forums don't allow this. Personally, I often speak like a sailor when not around my kids, so it doesn't bother me at all, and I find it somewhat liberating to be able to come here and say what I need to say without fear of repercussions.

I can see that, in public threads, that more care should be taken than in diaries. I didn't know that there were separate filters setup, but I generally try to be more careful in public posts.

...her favorite was MFing, C@@@Sucking, SOBing, no good Bast@@@. It was a mouthful.

My long-lost sister -- where have you been?! :D Yup, that's what I grew-up around, at home, in the street, etc.

Can you read the following paragraph?

Yes, I could! Amazing! Never knew this before.

 

[who am i kim]

Can you read the following paragraph?

I had no problem reading this either.

Swear words written down don't bother me. It makes no difference to me if words have letters asterisked out.

Of course if some one were to direct those swear words straight to me, in person, then of course it would upset me. But I think that would be due to the aggressive nature, rather than the words themselves.

I agree with this statement. Swear word using is a normal part of everyday life. We all swear at some point at something gone wrong. The kids just use it as language now days. Just my bit. :cautious:

 

[Hashi]

Swear word using is a normal part of everyday life. We all swear at some point at something gone wrong.

Not everyone. There are people who don't swear. Also a lot of situations where there isn't swearing regardless of what individuals usually do - eg for me: professional environments, gym, book club, talking with neighbours. I see the forum more as one of those types of situations.

This thread isn't about whether swearing is fine or not so I'll stop at saying that it isn't fine with everyone, even if general and not directed at them. I assume that's why the forum has the automatic asterisks. I do see a point to it, and I appreciate it.

 

[Abstract]

At one point I shared premises (work) with a group of people who swore all the time, the whole way through the day, both generally and fairly often at each other. And at me at times for the most ridiculous things. I felt like I was being assaulted. However, if someone spills coffee on themselves or drops something and says s*** then it doesn't offend me even if it startles me. And in the written form when it is *** it is has much less impact on me. I understand the need to do so at times to express a depth of frustration for example even if I find it uncomfortable.

People don't swear as a habit in any of the spheres of my life regardless of age but there are times when it happens because of something unexpected like the above example and I do think it is normal.Time and place is relevant too.

 

[Pietro]

@Abstract, interesting point about listening to people swear at work. While, personally, I'm pretty foul-mouthed, I'm careful about who hears it, if anyone. Yet, having a bunch of people at work, who I'm not very familiar with, swearing away, without regard for who might be within earshot, is annoying, and I consider such behavior to be extremely rude and inconsiderate. And if someone at work, who I'm not friends with, swears at me -- especially a supervisor -- I take great offense.

Like you, the random expletive over some personal frustration doesn't bother me a bit, and is sometimes even funny. Otherwise, someone needs to be handing out some pamphlets on manners. ;)