Does This Mean I Will Always Hold This Image In Their + Their Kids Eyes?

[J_trustno1]

Note: their refers to abusers i.e. mum's brother and her sisters

Today my cousin came over to our house. There was the topic going on about who knew about this new cartoon program on TV. I said the other cousin who lived in the other city knew it before and he's the one who revealed it to my brother and I. This guy (my 16 yr old cousin), starts proving himself right and telling that he was the one who found out about that show and he told it to the other cousin. I told him "whatever" and didn't want to get into argument with another narcissistic teenager followed by my mum's brother.

This cousin of mine starts telling me to shut up, and treating me as if I was a kid and putting a finger on his lips trying to display that i should be listening to him. I asked who the hell is he to do this to me? He said, "shut up or else you'll get a beating, you dumb piece of shit!!!"

Yeah this is a behavior displayed by my cousin who is almost 11 yrs younger than me yet his parents (i.e. the pedophile and mum's bitch sister) were always commenting on mine and my brothers behavior. Always trying to put us down and tell us how we should be behaving and now look at their son! He and his parents live with my mum's brother in their 2 million dollar mansion. Mum's brother was an asshole to me ever since I arrived to this country and so was mum's sister. They treated us (me + brother) like shit and now their kids have no respect for me. I've always been the scapegoat of the family.

It just pisses me off to see how those people tried making us behave the way they wanted to and look at their kids who have no respect for me and always treat me like garbage!

 

[Friday]

There was a time in my life where a "good job" from anybody made me feel good.

And then I learned to consider the source.

Either for an atta-girl, or dumb-c*nt.

I take as much pride when people I respect pat me on the head, as when evil people call me names. Conversely, I feel as sick when someone I respect is disappointed in me, as when someone I revile is proud of me.

It took a long time for me to really be able to parse that, simple as it sounds. But I really don't want an atta-girl from someone I loathe. I really, really don't.

So will these evil twats always look badly on you? I hope so. Because it's a heckuva compliment to be hated by evil people.

Will you always want the approval of tools, and be hurt by their censure? My money is on no. Because the cognitive dissonance of it has been driving you crazy for a while, now. Which means that your perspective is shifting. Pretty soon, expect to feel a blush of joy, instead of crushing hurt, at the exact same words and attitudes.

((Although kids are tough. Because kids are just repeating what they've been told. They don't have their own opinions, yet. Not really. So there's still hope for them to pull their heads out. Which makes it hard. There are just times when hope really is a four letter word. But they'll either grow up and change, becoming good people, or grow up and become another generation of hyenas. In the meantime, I try to use my Teflon-impersonation around kids. When they have something original to say, I'll pay attention. Until then, they're just parroting their parents.))

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that you should perhaps work on accepting that these are horrible people who will never care for you. You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself. Why try to win the love of people who hate you when there are plenty of people in the world who will love you?

 

[RussH]

This is truly a case of considering the source, and not internalizing their behavior toward you.

 

[scout86]

The only thing I can add to those insights is, the older I get, the less time I find I'm willing to waste in the presence of people like you're talking about. There are a lot of good, enjoyable, interesting people in the world. People you can learn good stuff from, people you can enjoy and who will enjoy you. There isn't enough time available to waste it on the likes of the relatives you described. It's THEIR loss!

 

[littlelostchild]

I'm with the rest of the responses. My suggestion - when they arrive, so for an outing or a walk or visit a friend. Don't give them the opportunity to wind you up with their bullsh*t.