Does Your Family Know You Have Ptsd?

[Abstract]

Actually I was a chaotic mess that was fighting ten versions of my own shadow but I couldn't see it.

Its strange isnt it? Once one starts to see the truth. I so believed my own lies about how together I was and still do most of the time. I think its an act of courage to come out from behind it. Something that our minds and bodies eventually demand.

 

[confusedcaregiver]

I so believed my own lies about how together I was and still do most of the time.

I know exactly what you mean. Even when the realization I had trauma started to dawn on me, I would still be fighting it. I would tell my girlfriend I 100% needed help, and the next sentence I would be equally convinced I was 100% fine. I wasn't just saying it, but I actually genuinely felt it all the way down to my core.

 

[Abstract]

Confused.
Ah I understand more now about the Dr. I wish he had phoned back. It may well be that he is conflicted about what would work in this situation. It isnt best for a couple to have the same T and may be even more problematic in your situation. Maybe you could leave a message and ask for a referral. Its easy to take thse things personally but him not getting back to you wont be about you.

Springer, I have not but will look it up. I totally agree though as have looked at resiliency and having one person who hears, affirms and supports us and that we have a long term relationship with seems to be the biggest help. That and the ability to ask for help. Both which I have very little of. :rolleyes: As a result I think my reactions are way out of proportion to what I have experienced which is really not that much.

I think invalidation in the broader sense and gaslighting are the most crazy making things. :(

 

[Springer80]

I so believed my own lies about how together I was and still do most of the time.

I think its an act of courage to come out from behind it. Something that our minds and bodies eventually demand.

I'm out from behind it now, BIG TIME, my ass is blowing in the breeze!!! I miss my crutches even though they were ridiculous and hollow. :spitdummy:

 

[Abstract]

I wasn't just saying it, but I actually genuinely felt it all the way down to my core.

I have some very weird stuff around this that I am picking up the courage to discuss. I can have both at the same time and believe both. Its like the third world war inside here. :inpain: Its been carrying on to various extents for over two years and doesnt seem to be stopping. Before that I just "knew" 100 % that I was fine and unaffected. :rolleyes:

Nuts. :wacky:

 

[Abstract]

I think its brave to come out from behind it. I long to go back to that deluded oblivious self and then the reality hits me and I get very confused.

At least the wind or breeze ;) is more likely to blow you in the direction of help rather than self destruction.

 

[Springer80]

gaslighting

Vot ist das? :bookworm:

 

[Abstract]

Not sure if that is a genuine question Springer ;) but shall be annoying and answer. Its what your mother did to you. She said something and then implied that she didnt. It is when people undermine our sense of reality and mess with our heads. Saying that our reactions are skewed or we are not remembering or making us feel that reality isnt real.

 

[Springer80]

I think its brave to come out from behind it.

Nothing brave about it Abs, my health finally couldn't support the fancy drag act anymore. I'm currently hiding with my duvet, literally and metaphorically. However, the only way has to be up and out. GULP.

Regarding your post about being simultaneously convinced your fine and not so, I always knew I wasn't OK really and that all the effort was to keep me going. Its this strange dichotomy that as you run away the distance gets shorter.

Its like those double blind experiments scientists do, except your subconscious and your conscious mind have placed the same controls without telling each other. So you get denial and defiance playing this incremental game with each other little by little as you can cope with things.

 

[Springer80]

Not sure if that is a genuine question

Never heard the expression before? I'm intrigued how the reference works in relation to its origins. Thanks :)

 

[Abstract]

:) You are welcome. I believe it relates to a film where the husband would turn down the gaslights in the home and then deny doing so. To make his wife believe she was going crazy. There is a thread going on here somewhere although it seems to me people are lumping a whole of other stuff under the term too which I am not so sure about.

 

[Springer80]

:) You are welcome. I believe it relates to a film where the husband would turn down the gaslights in the home and then deny doing so.

I had an American Civil War image mixed with steam trains and Peter and the Wolf. Gotcha though. Ta:)