Had a bit of a tussle with this one, so I didn't vote. I see most of my family as "in my life but emotionally largely unavailable because they are what I call, unconscious and active in their behaviors". Conversely, I myself have been neglectful of emotional needs of my spouse and family, I guess because at times, I am in my behaviors as well.
I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that our families, except for my spouse, are not emotionally healthy. I consider it an "unrealistic expectation" for me to expect them to be different than who they are, and try to actualize my own emotional needs with my husband or independently outside of my family.
When I freed myself from expectations, occasionally I am surprised and warmed by a kind word, or deed. I am generally more content and satisfied by operating or negotiating the delimma of our families this way. I am not entirely consistent, but tend to choose and rechoose as necessary to think in this way. Sylvia Plath said, "If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed."
Rather than take a dismal view of the quote, I find I'm more appreciative of kindnesses, courteousness, and good intentions or deeds if I put the mantle of my emotional discomfort on my own shoulders, and try self parent myself into some sort of action steps or perceptual change about the situation. I am responsible for my own thoughts, emotions, and attitudes.
