Don't Know What To Do - Feeling Depressed

[juzz25]

Hi,

About 6 months ago while at home with my gran in South Africa, 4 guys with guns broke into our house, beat me up, tied us up and spent a few hours stealing everything in our house. I honoustly thought i was going to die because thats what usually happens in south africa, they kill you. Also thought they were going to rape my gran. Everything turned out ok though in the end.

Everyone told me to go speak to someone even though i felt alright afterwards. They told me i could have PTSD but i told them nonsense i am fine. About 3 months afterwards i came on holiday to my mom who stays in the UK. I've been here for about 4 months now. I felt fine. Ok i did have a few nightmares the incident and got frightened quickly etc.

I met this girl here and fell in love with her. She just broke up with me and now im feeling like i don't want to live. It actually feels like my heart has been ripped out. I cant stop thinking about her. Whats worse is she stays in the same house as me and i see her everyday. Within 2 days of breaking up she had another guy in her room and he's here like everynight.

I've never felt this way after a breakup. I dont understand because i realise that she isnt the right one for me but still i cant help feeling like this. Im crying all the time, i feel depressed, i've lost my appetite food just makes me feel sick.

I have to go back to South Africa in 2 months coz my visa expires and im dreading going back. Everything about that place reminds me of what happened.

Is it possible that the break up has triggered PTSD from what happened?
How do i get over these feelings? Im going crazy, im dring my mom away, i have no passion for anything, im just sitting here in a daze, crying, thinking about her. I know this isnt healthy. Please someone help!

 

[Ursa]

Is it possible that the break up has triggered PTSD from what happened?

Welcome to the forum.

Answering your question... I don't know but a therapist probably would. If you are depressed you need professional help.

Take care.

 

[igasho]

Hi, dear Juzz,

as far as I know, britain has some good help on ptsd, it is the "national health..." something - I don't know the right name for it, but saw that they do have even an online brochure on ptsd. Please, you should contact them. Breaking up is of course soul-stress, and yes, it can trigger other stress that was hidden before and it is wonderful that we live in a time where good help really is available, if asked for.

So, please, try to get help by a good therapist.

Second: if you do have ptsd diagnosed, you might ask for the allowance to stay in britain, because if you would have to go back, your illness might increase. It affords though that you search for help and info, perhaps a look in your local telefonbook can tell you which organisation might be able to help you with both?

I can relate to that the situation now at the moment is stressy for you, i just want to assure you that with good treatment the situation will become better - it is just as if you were landed in an unknown country, with unknown rules etc. - but it becomes better, I promise, if you have a good companion who helps you to discover the land, and a therapist could be such.

I found some links on the internet for you:
http://mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+post-traumatic+stress+disorder.htm

http://traumatic-stress-clinic.org.uk/

Note: you have to put "www." in front of the urls, of course

Hope this helps!

My best wishes for you and friendly greetings
Igasho

P.S. For the moderators: I read about the "uncheck" for urls and I did "uncheck" but it still displaces them as valid. In order for Juzz to get the info quickly I now left out the "www" hoping this will make the link not directly working... I really DID try my best, it just doesn't work, I don't know why:-(

 

[Irton Pike]

Thats a very very frighteneing situation that you have been through. It is the kind of thing that can cause PTSd but I am in no position to make a judgement.

While you are here in the UK your first point of call is to a G.P., however, I am not entirely sure of the procedure as you are a foreign national. If I were you I would phone your local G.P. and try to get an appointment. Hopefully, you will get a good service but remember that not all people are as sympathetic. Do be prepared to get a second opinion if you are fobbed off with a course of antidepressants or something you are unhappy with.

You might also do yourself a big favour and pick up a few books. There is a good one called "Overcoming depression" by Paul Gilbert, which was a big help to me. Also, "Overcoming Traumatic Stress" by Claudia Herbert and Ann Wetmore, is very good.

I was in a very extravagant car crash but was left with cuts and bruises. I developed PTSD and was in a bad way for two years. I became a different person and my girlfriend (a clinical psychologist) walked out after a year of my bull. I did not seek medical help for over ten years which ended with me having a complete relapse into full on PTSD. I dearly wish I had had the gumption to seek help earlier but i was ashamed. I really do believe you are doing a brave and very good thing in seeking help now. It is far better to deal with these things earlier rather than later.

I hope everything goes well for you and that you get back on your feet soon.

One other thing, if you are a student, then you might well have access to counseling service. It is a route i have made good use of in the last few years.