Don't Know Where To Find The Internal Strength

[BananaSockMuffins]

I've been having panic attacks pretty much every day. Sometimes multiple ones in a day. I'm on celexa and Wellbutrin for depression and Clonazepam for anxiety. I already take 1mg clonazepam in the morning and 1mg at night. My GP doesn't want to mess around with medications more than what I have, so I have to wait 3-6 months to see a psychiatrist.

I have two little ones I need to keep it together for and my husband is gone 12 hours for his work shifts. I'm supposed to start workshops for women who've experienced sexual abuse but I haven't heard back yet. I don't have a lot of time for the coping techniques the doctor keeps telling me becasue I'm too busy.

I don't know where to find the strength to keep this up. I don't want to go to a hospital because I was sexually abused by a doctor when I was little so anything medical is my biggest trigger. Kind of counter productive.

I'm exhausted, These panic attacks are wearing me down.

I just needed to get it off my chest.

 

[franciemarnie]

It's good to get it off your chest, but I am afraid you will burn out unless you take the time to change and do things like learning coping techniques. That will increase your wellbeing and you won't be as exhausted. Plus you will be able to help the people you are having workshops for. Nothing changes unless we do.

The effectiveness of the clonazepam might be wearing off too and that could drag you down and increase anxiety..

Make time for you. Please find the time so there will be a you.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I am so sorry you a struggling, I do understand as I have been and am there now. Do you see a therapist? Your therapist could give you some coping skills that you can do as you go about your day. I am on the same medicine cycle, except I take Prozac instead of celexa and I am also on risperidal and prosazin.

Ultimately you do need some you time everyday. For me, its reading a fun book or watching tv, SOMETHING to distract me for just a little while. What would an hour out of your day hurt? Trust me, a few months ago I wouldn't have made time, but going into the psychiatric hospital for suicide attempt because I got overwhelmed put things in perspective for me.

Something I did was look up coping techniques online (it's where I got the glitter bottle from). I also wear hair bands on my arms to play with when I get anxious. I keep little jeweled stones in my purse to play with. I make sure I always have an iPod or something I can play music on. Being outside hells calm me..

bottom line you just have to find what works for you, but having a therapist to help you find those would be the best bet.

 

[BananaSockMuffins]

I've been trying really hard to get some "me" time. My husband and I have been trying to make that a priority but with a nursing 10 month old and a demanding, high energy 3 year old it's tricky. My 3 year old is in this phase where he purposely tries to annoy me and push all the boundaries.
I am on the path to burn out, I can feel it, and I'm not far off. I will google some quick coping ideas and talk to my therapist to see if she has any recommendations.

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. Lol not gonna happen but I can dream.

[DOUBLEPOST=1398370721][/DOUBLEPOST]@FindingMyself88 I'm going tomorrow to get the stuff for the glitter bottle :)

 

[RedLuna]

if you can find someone to talk to and help you out when your husband isn't around and your stressing out. Ive found it helped me when I did have someone to talk to.

 

[Pencil]

my therapist

Do you have a therapist? In your introduction you said you were about to start therapy and counseling and EMDR. I'm a little confused.

 

[BananaSockMuffins]

I've been in talk therapy but now I'm starting EMDR with the same therapist. I'm on the waiting list for a counsellor specializing in sexual abuse, and going to be taking workshops to learn coping skills. Sorry for the confusion.

It's hard for me to call someone while in mid panic attack but I did today and my friend said she didn't mind at all. Maybe that will help ease things up a bit.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

You can't help other people if you are not well yourself. Time to learn some coping and somethings that will help you like @franciemarnie is talking about.

 

[TLight]

You can only maintain that standard of high functioning for so long. I admire you for trying, but like the others are saying, it is imperative to take down time. Stressors will only lead to worsening of symptoms and you cannot do ANY healing work when your symptoms are raging.

 

[smokeandmirrors]

Hi @BananaSockMuffins

I am sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with panic attacks. I am enduring the same thing. You are not alone. I am finding breathing exercises the most helpful and I've started to get some physical activity to much benefit. It's not curing it, but it's reducing the symptoms from a 9/10 to a 2-5/10.

Also, did your GP talk to you about the anxiety side effects of Wellbutrin? I am currently taking 150mg--down from 300mg, during which time I was enduring 7-10 panic attacks a day. I found that reducing my dose with my GP's help resulted in less anxiety and far fewer panic attacks. I have an appointment next week to make a plan to go off of Wellbutrin altogether and start taking my last antidepressant. I didn't have any of this anxiety until I started taking Wellbutrin, so I'm wondering if you are experiencing side effects like I am?

Can you talk about it with your GP? It could make all the difference for you.

Take care of yourself. We are here for you!

 

[BananaSockMuffins]

Thank you so much for the advice everyone! I see my therapist today so I will ask her about coping skills. I will also try and talk to my GP about it, maybe the Wellbutrin isn't a good fit for me. It gives me energy and motivation but I've only been on it for a week and a half so maybe it is aggravating my anxiety. She didn't mention anything about that to me.

Supposed to be starting EMDR today, we'll see how that goes. Hubby promised me a relaxing day tomorrow and he will look after our little ones. I'm very much looking forward to that! :D

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I don't think wellbutrin will start working in a week and a half. Normally those medication are long term and take 3+weeks to start working. But if you are having bad side effects then that is another thing...

Wellbutrin for me made me very hostile and it did that within a few hours of taking it.