Drank Too Much And Now Regret

[missmary]

I was alone all weekend this weekend. I drank fairly heavily every day of it. Last night I drank an entire bottle of wine and called my little sister to discuss a recent memory that involved her. I wish I hadn't done that and now I'm just freaking out in my head and want to crawl into a hole. I do this in cycles, and tell myself I need to stop drinking because I can't moderate it and end up with the "worry willies" the next day. Anyone else do this too?

 

[HangInThere]

Ahh Yes and its awful....get real anxiuos after and think everyone hates me ...but its great while im drinking. so I try not to ..which leads me in a path in my head that there is no relief...then I feel angry and lonely and its all worse than before...

 

[stormy]

Your story is all too familiar with me. I too, drink too heavily at times and the next day, I am all regrets. I have spilled my gutts and say, never again, and, well that story line just keeps repeating itself.

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have been given good advise that I will share with you. Don't beat yourself up. If you try not to drink and then you do, you just have to pick yourself up, and try again. We all faulter, because we are not perfect, and that is okay.

Try not to focus on this too much. I know, easier said than done. Take care of you. Tomorrow is another day.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am sober for 5 years. It was very hard to quit drinking. But I would drink and then I would reach out to people who were not good for me and talk and confide and say things I would not say if I had not been drinking. It was really bad. I hated myself. I felt lousy because I was drinking so much it was making me sick. I felt like crap. I was drinking all of the time. I drank to feel better but it controlled me.

I agree do not beat yourself up. But mabe you need to really think if the drinking is really helping you or hurting you. It is a very personal decision. I wish i could still drink. But I am glad that i am not making bad decisions anymore. It was hard to quit. But I had to admit I had a problem, and I had a problem.

My son was a alcoholic and he got drunk and got killed in a motorcycle accident. He was going down hill fast. He always told me no one was twisting his arm to make him drink or do the crazy things he was doing. I really miss my son. In a way the alcohol killed him.

I wish you the best with whatever you choose. Good luck.

 

[missmary]

HIT, Stormy and Gizmo- thank you. It helps to know I'm not the only one who gets like that, or feels that way. At this time, I don't know that I have a drinking problem, so much as problem drinking (according to my T anyway). I come from a very alcoholic family so I am always conscious of my intake. Lately however, it's gotten to a level I'm uncomfortable with. I binge drink and hate myself the next day... And I'm doing it more and more often.

So I've decided to take a break from drinking. I think if I focus on healthier behaviors and other coping skills besides drinking and establish that, then maybe I can reintroduce the one glass of wine with dinner or after dinner. The beer or two at a BBQ and the nightcap cocktail on a weekend. For now though, I think I need to lay off while I am in this really fragile and uncomfortable state.

I really appreciate all of your responses so much- thank you! It helps-helps-helps!!

 

[The Albatross]

You are wise to note that your drinking behavior is changing and the intervals between binges is getting shorter. Glad to see you taking a proactive approach Miss Mary! :tup:

 

[timetorecover]

Alcohol makes me feel great at the time. I find confidence and sometimes even feel sociable.

But then, after, man do I feel rough. Doc told me my symptoms get worse post drink binge as it is alcohol withdrawal.

9/10 I regret what I have said or done.

I wish I had the strength to keep it out of my life. But the temptation when I am low or lonely is too much to resist.

Fighting PTSD and other mental health problems is bad enough and putting addiction into the mix is a tough battle.

Recognising and noticing our behaviour is a step in the right direction I suppose!!

 

[missmary]

Albatross I thank you for the encouragement! It's always helpful to have the support and know others agree with your choices. So thanks.

TTR: I am in complete agreement. PTSD has made me antisocial. Drinking brings me out into the world more and makes me more socially agreeable. But- I always cross the line with one drink too many and then keep going and by the end of it all I'm mortified. And that is not so fun, and essentially not socially agreeable either. You do have the strength to take it on. We all do. It's matter of readiness I think. I figure, that since I'm already working hard as it is to overcome my PTSD symptoms why NOT just toss in the alcohol adjustment too so I don't drag the hard times out longer than needed? Easier said than done.

For me, alcohol slows my head down, relaxes me and I can feel better. My head races constantly and I can't process. Alcohol helps. I have an issue with all-or-nothing syndrom though so it's never just one, it's I'm drinking until bed or I'm not drinking. No middle. That's so bad!

I really want to mention too, that I've tried this before. I've tried not drinking and usually make it a week and go back. I'm committed to this though and I intend to beat it. Trial and error, that's how we learn!

 

[a3a2]

I hope you are getting professional help as well, missmary. Willpower is great, but we all need a hand with something.