Dying To Connect

[deleted]

I feel so distant from everyone and everything. It's like I'm separated from other humans and all of life's emotions and experiences and I just can't bridge the gap between those things and myself no matter how hard I try.

I feel numb, yet stressed and afraid but emotionless all at the same time. It's like nothing effects me yet everything does. Not even my old hobbies or the tried and true things I held onto and loved make me feel anything anymore. For example, I go hiking multiple times a week and that has always been my greatest source of joy but I feel dull and unemotional and stressed when I hike now, like my connection to even the things I loved most, the mountains, has been severed.

And people are a whole other beast but that disconnection has been going on for a long time already, it has just intensified. I can barley fake connection anymore and I feel incredibly alone even though I have others around me.

It's driving me insane. I need to connect to something, anything at all.

 

[Snowflake]

I have difficulty responding sometimes but I want you to know I understand how you feel-

 

[Gadgie]

I kind of get what you mean, it's like you are a drifting ship, with no power, at the mercy of the sea and the weather. You feel like you want to stop and drop the anchor, but you can't because you don't know where you are?

It's like this verse I wrote in a poem many years ago..........

I long to leave this frightening place,
To brake away from the human race,
To reach for a cloud up in the sky,
A welcome refuge, for me to cry.

 

[expectingbetter]

I feel exactly the same.

I have lost a desire for anything, I feel like I don't like anything and anybody anymore and still I am painfully aware I can't live isolated on my own and that I need others in my life. Also I need something to like in order to enjoy it, and I don't, the stuff I used to love before I don't anymore and I can't find anything new which would make my heart be cheerful again.

So hard feelings to bear.
I haven't found a solution yet. Unfortunately. My therapy doesn't help no matter how much I am trying.

I feel like I am barely living, more like I am surviving only. And don't know even fro which purpose.

I know this isn't what you were asking for but if I had a solution I would gladly share it with you.
I can only say that I understand how you feel and that I hope it won't last forever.