Each New Day Is Harder Than The Last

[Mojo]

I thought I was doing well. I thought I could handle life. Everyone around me thinks I'm doing so well but I wish I was brave enough to tell the truth. I wish I could explain that I try my hardest not to sleep because the nightmares have become too much. I'm exhausted during the day which makes it difficult to get grounded during flashbacks. And the flashbacks... so vivid, so violent, so painful. When my daughter was 3 months old I promised her I would work my hardest to get through this and heal. I promised to give her the life I never had. But this, this is becoming too much. It's getting harder to keep that promise. I can't get the images out of my head. It was 2 months since I last self harmed, but I've cut everyday this week. I see my therapist in 3 days, I couldn't get an earlier appointment. I'm not sure she can help. I just want the memories to go away. I want the pain to go away. Why does it have to be so hard????

 

[Changing4Best]

It's not your fault that this is happening to you. You are trying your best too, so don't be too hard on yourself. I hope your therapist can help.

My new meds are helping me sleep better, so maybe it is time for you to have a medicine change? Do you see a psychiatrist? I do. He prescribes meds that really do help, as does my regular doctor.